Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Goodbye 2014 Welcome 2015

In less than one hour 2014 will be over. This year I was tested a lot. I often fell to my knees in prayer. My faith was tested to the maximum. There were times when I wanted to throw in the towel and end it all. You see Satan (the devil) was working overtime. He was coming at me from every angel. Every time I overcame one hurdle he threw another one in front of me. 

I had to go back and forth to court with my daughters father which left me drained. Co-parenting is already a difficult task. It is even more difficult when the noncustodial parent refuses to communicate. It is more difficult when the noncustodial parent communicates through the child. It is very difficult when the noncustodial parent does not know or refuses be cordial. I had to withdraw from college. Her father stated "I can't watch her on the weekends". My response was, you are not "watching her" because she is your child. So as a result I withdrew. I have so much to say about this, but I will save it for another time. I overcame those two hurdles.

If that was not enough, there's more to come. Satan could deal with defeat. I weathered the previous storm and survived. He was unhappy so he began attacking my health. Due to my family history I was beyond scared. Immediately, my thoughts went to my daughters. I pray often, but I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. I called my biological mom and she prayed for me. I went to my (second) mother and my grandfather and we prayed. During that time God reminded me who was God. Eventually I told my sister's. I went to work everyday with a smile on my face and no one knew what I was going through. I am happy to say that Satan lost that battle too. I will also share that story with you at another time. Then my job was stressing me out. You know, being overworked, underpaid and unappreciated. I know stress is inevitable, but some stress I brought on myself. I allowed myself to be abused. I allowed myself to be the dumping ground for other people when they were going through something. When I needed someone to talk to no one was there.

I tolerated so much from people which is something I vowed never to do again and I did. I tried to be reasonable and give people the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, my niceness was taken for granted. It was used and abused to the fullest extent. I have dealt with people and their undiagnosed bipolar disorders, mood swings, undiagnosed schizophrenia and so much more. In the long run, I was the one being physically and emotionally affected by their mess. I am not going to endure any bullsnoozy from anyone. I have a new perspective of my life and the people around me. I considered everyone's feelings, yet no one has considered my feelings. I will not have a problem walking away from anyone and everyone. No one is exempt. I have decided if someone is taking away from my entire being (emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc) then I do not want to associate with them at all in anyway.

I am looking forward to all that is to come in 2015. I do not make new year resolutions. Nonetheless, I have a few personal goals that I will pursue. I look forward to growing my blog and grow in all areas of my life as well as in my faith. The mind is the devils playground and I have had a few weak moments in my life. I allowed the devil to rent space and place things in my mind that had no business being there. I believe in God and Satan despises anyone who who chooses to seek God. Satan's goal was to seek and destroy me by any means necessary.  If I did not know God, or know how to pray and hold on during trials and tribulations would not be here today. There were times when I almost let go, nonetheless, I am here and alive today because God kept me. I am here to tell you don't give up. Fully Rely On God (F.R.O.G) and Pray Until Something Happens (P.U.S.H) Prayer changes things. Remain hopeful. I know I have. Whenever doubt creeps in my mind, I look at my arm "Hope Anchors My Soul". 
My Tattoo: Hope Anchors My Soul Heb 6:19, 1st Corinthian 13:13
I look forward to what's in store for 2015 and I cannot wait to take this journey with you. Smooches!!!!!!!! See you in 2015.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Liar Liar Book Review

Liar, Liar by Latrese Carter is consumed with secrets, lies, deceit, disrespect and infidelity. Childhood friends Stormy Knight and Camden Brooks paths crossed again when Camden decided to move from New York City back to his hometown. Camden Brooks came from a very good home. His father (Reverend Brooks) and mother were Pastor and First Lady of a well know church. As a result of this, Camden was labeled a church kid and everyone expected him to live and behave in a certain manner. Eventually, Camden could no longer live with the pressure of being the son of a pastor. So when it was time for him to apply to college he decided he would go to school out of state. This would allow him to reveal who he "really"was.

As time passed they began to date and their relationship was going very well. At least this is what Stormy believed until a secret is revealed to her that will change her life forever. She had no idea that she was being used in what Camden thought was a great scheme. Eventually, Camden asked Stormy to marry him and she happily accepted his proposal. A few months passed and stormy began to prepare for her wedding. One day she received a call from her cousin who informed her that Camden was cheating on her. Not only was he cheating on her, he was cheating on her with another man. A man that they both knew very well from their church. As expected, Stormy was in shock and denial. She did not want to believe her fiance was cheating on her. She definitely did not want to believe he was cheating on her with another man. Stormy confronted Camden and of course  he lied. It is not until she requests a meeting with his father Reverend Brooks that the truth is revealed. As a result, Reverend Brooks states he will not perform the wedding ceremony because his son unsuitable for marriage.

Time passes and Reverend Brooks informs Stormy that Camden has been delivered. He is no longer attracted to men. Stormy believed him and decided to give Camden a second. They started dating again and then she married him. A few months into their marriage Camden realized he made a mistake marrying Stormy. Camden was back to his old habits. Just like an addict he resumed his homosexual relationship with the same church member. If that is not enough, a blast from his past is determined to ruin and possible end his life.
via Best Quotes
 Camden did not care about anyone but himself. He did not think about how his actions would affect everyone in his life. He did not care who was hurt as long as he received what he wanted that was all that mattered. Stormy doubted Camden was a changed man. Nonetheless, she married him anyway.  As I read this book, I could not understand why Stormy did not trust her instincts. I asked myself why would she marry Camden knowing he lied about who he was and his lifestyle? Why was she willing to settle? What else would she have to endure for her to realize her worth? When was she going to walk away? As I came to the end of the book, I was also asking myself the very same questions. I was forced to reflect on and examine my very own friendships and relationship.

As women, we have to want the best for us. We need to learn when to walk away from relationships and situations that are not good for us. We have to remind ourselves of our worth. We deserve to be loved and treated with respect. We have to to stop settling for less that what we deserve. We are worth the effort. Read the book if you want to find out how the story ended?

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for.”---Mandy Hale

Thursday, November 13, 2014

How Do You Make Time For Yourself?

Via Live Rich Live Well

Being a mother, a daughter, a sister, a professional and a friend can be very stressful. How often have you found yourself saying, "I wish I had more hours in the day" or "I wish I had a moment  for myself". As parents, we all find ourselves wishing we had more hours during the day and time for ourselves. I lead a very busy life and I never seem to have time for myself. It's not easy being a single mother who has to juggle working a full time job, attending college courses, maintaining a household, returning phone calls, caring for and giving attention to my two daughters and significant other. The only time I can get at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted "me time" is when I take my bath. Lately, this has been impossible. Creating more "me time" is not at the top of my to do list, but it is on my to do list. 

There are times when I get "a break" but I do not consider it "a break". Reason being is, during this time I am usually doing something around the house or running errands that involves picking up or items for my girls or family members. My life is so involved in doing things and spending time with other people that when I do have a moment, a true moment for myself most of the time I have no idea what to do. If I do find something to entertain myself or just relax and unwind I often feel guilty. There are several adjustments I need to make in my life so I can have some "me time".  During my train ride I made a mental note to do the following: 
  • prioritize my responsibilities
  • make myself a priority
  • realize my happiness is equally important 
  • give to myself just as much as I give to others
  • learn to say no
  • add myself to my calendar
  • stop and smell the roses
  • relax, relate, release (don't forget the glass /bottle of wine)

I know that I deserve time for myself. I realize I also need this time. I crave this time so I will not feel overwhelmed, frustrated and excessively tired. This "me time" would allow me to reconnect with myself .

Via Positive Outlooks Blog


Have you placed yourself on your priority list? How have you made more time for yourself?

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Happy Birthday Mommy

Today is my mothers birthday. I wrote this on my facebook page as a tribute to my mother. I decided to share it with you all. My mother has been through a lot during her life. She was a teen mom, but she never let it deter her from doing any thing. She finished high school and enrolled in the U.S. Army. She stubmled upon a few bumps in the road. She even fell a few times, but she never stayed down. She always managed to get back up.I am so grateful that the Lord has blessed my mother to see another year. I am grateful that I as well as my sister, brother and her grandchildren have her in our lives another day. 

To be a mother at 16 was not an easy task

I am sure you were frightened and did not know what to do, 
You probably cried day and night, but you had to see this journey through
My father said I was not his and for both you and me it was a horrible day
Unlike him, you did not have the option to turn and walked away
Nine months later I entered the world
They swaddled me in cloth and introduced you to your baby girl
There were many nights you did not get much sleep
There were good times and bad times, nonetheless I was yours to keep

We have had disagreements but with prayer and the will of God, we made it through
The sun did not shine always and there were several days of rain
With God’s grace and mercy together we crossed milestones and we made it through the pain

Thank you for giving me life and being my eyes when I could not see
Thank you for your encouragement and believing in me
Thank you for being there for my girls from the very start
You will always have a special place in our hearts.
Happy Birthday Mommy! I love you.

Homelessness In America


Someone shared a video on my facebook page about a Chicago homeless man named Ronald Davis (click his name to view his interview). I then proceeded to view a  video about a homeless man named Maurice Johnson, who is 55 years old and is from Cleveland, but resides in Boston. He has 2 Masters Degrees (in Plasma Physics and Electrical Engineering and Acoutsics; click his name to view his interview). As I watched these interviews it brought tears to my eyes and prompted me to write this post. 

Why are so many people homeless in America? What can we as a nation instead of being judgmental? We don't know their story. We don't know the things they have gone through. We are all a paycheck away from being homeless. There are times my job annoys the heck out of me, but I thank God I have one so I can provide for my family. I recall the day on the train, I gave my food to a man on the train and he threw it away when he went to the next car. I was pissed. I vowed never to help another person on the street who asked me for something. 


Of course, I have gone back on my word several times since then. Being who I am and how I was raised I can't turn my head and act as thought I don't see them. There have been times when I did not have it to give and I felt so bad. There are times when I did not have much to spare, but I gave anyway. The Lord turned right around and blessed me anyhow. The next time you see someone who is down on their luck think about all the different scenarios that caused them to be on the street. 
Every homeless person is not a drug addict, a prostitute or uneducated. They may have lost their job which means they could not pay the rent. As a result they are now homeless. Some of these men and women are veterans. These men and women may not have family to help them. It is a possibility rhere family members are not able to help them. Maybe their pride is getting in the way of them going to seek help. I don't know what the reason is, but i do know this could happen to anyone at any time. 

Before you walk past them as if they are invisible, think about their situation.They are human, and I always wonder how someone got in their situation. What happened to them? Never take anything for granted. Anyone of us could be in this situation.

Would you want someone to pass you by or would you want someone to help you? 
Look out for more postings regarding Homelessness in America.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Happy 10th Birthday Nyasia

It was a cold February day. I recall being at work and talking to my friend/coworker "Medina". I told her that my menstrual cycle was late and I needed to go to Duane Reade during lunch. That day I took a total of four pregnancy test. I needed to make sure because of a previous experience I had with her sister Tereya. When I was pregnant with Tereya, I  also took three test. The results were not accurate. One was positive, two were negative and finally a positive blood test. There is no need for me to elaborate, we all know how the story ended. Lol!


September 8th, is a very special day. God blessed me with my second daughter one decade ago today. I remember that night as if it were yesterday. If it were up to the ER physician, Nyasia would have been born in the elevator or the sidewalk. My Ob/Gyn was performing a c-section and he barely made it in time to deliver my baby. Dr. Kuno handed me this little tiny baby with the big beautiful eyes. She was born at 12:56am and weighed 5lbs and 14ozs. After a few minor complications I endured during the pregnancy, I was ecstatic to know that she was born healthy. It was one of the greatest moments in my life. It's hard to believe that she is 10 years old already. I am so proud of her and all her accomplishments thus far. I am very proud of her for understanding herself and being the best she can be. I cannot imagine my life without her. I am screaming, yelling, hollering, Happy Birthday to my beautiful daughter. She was my late birthday present. We have the same zodiac sign but we are nothing alike. I want her to know that Mommy love’s her to the moon and back. May God bless you on this day and every day. May you continue to be the wonderful and kindhearted person you are. I love you and I thank God for allowing me to be your mother. 

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Happy Birthday To Me

Thirty-seven years ago today, I blessed the world with my presence. I do not make a fuss of my birthday because I do the same thing every year. NOTHING! I do not plan anything because it is around the time school begins. My daughter's birthday is also a few days later. Those events are far more important. So as a result, I do not do anything.


Now that I think about it, in all of my years on this earth I have never had a birthday celebration that consisted of my friends and my family. I have had  intimate gatherings. Each one I had consisted of my immediate family only. This is also because I don't consider everyone I know or associate with my friend.
After doing a lot of reflecting, I noticed that I have never celebrated anything that I have accomplished in my adult life. So, I have decided that I will create my very own holiday where I celebrate me and all that I have accomplished in my life thus far. So, I wish myself a Happy Birthday to me. God bless me and may I have many more.

How do you celebrate your birthday?

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Why I Love Jesus

My sister called me out on Facebook to participate in the "Why I Love Jesus" challenge. I love Jesus because he first loved me. I love Jesus because he allowed me to see another day. He kept the blood running through my veins. He allowed my heart to continue beating. He allows me and my family to reach our destinations during the day and return home safely.

I was 6 or 7 years old when I was introduce to him. I was fascinated with him until my grandmother died. I was angry with him because he took the one person who I felt loved me the most who I loved the most away from me. As a child I questioned him. Why did so many leave me, walk out on me and turn their backs on me? Why did you take my grandmother away? I couldn't understand why and he did not provide me an answer. As a result, I turned my back on him.

For years I strayed away. Stopped going to church and reading the bible. Nonetheless, God kept me covered and wrapped his arms around me. There were times I felt alone, not realizing he was there all the time. I love him for never leaving or forsaking me. I have made some bad choices as a young adult. Some that I have not forgiven myself for, but he is a forgiving God. I love him because he never judged me when others judged me.

Growing up I could have been lost. I was on the road to destruction, but God is so good. He placed the right person in my life at the right time. I am forever grateful. God also gave me the greatest gifts ever, my daughter's. They are my blessings. Once I had my first child I decided to rekindle my relationship with God.

I am a single mom and there are day's when I want to throw in the towel. There are days when I have no idea how I manage to give them all they need as well as what they want. They are healthy, they dont give me to much trouble and they do well in school.at the end of the day I know it's nobody but Jesus.  Won't he do it. The enemy tried to attack my future, my household and my health, but I know a man who can fix all things. He fights my battles. So when I feel like giving up,  I remember why I held on for so long.

I thank him in advance for what he will do next in my life and my girls life. I thank him for what he has planned for my life and girls life.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Moving Forward

My life is like a roller coaster. It's full of ups, downs, twists, turns, rights and wrongs. Riding this roller coaster has often made me sick to my stomach. I have suffered from anxiety because I was apprehensive about what was waiting for me as I approached the next loop hole in my life. I have tried several techniques to teach myself to relax. Unfortunately, nothing has helped. I cannot relax. I do not know how to relax.

Everyday the Lord allows me to wake up is another day for me to get it right. I am not bound by my past. The decisions that I made yesterday do not determine who am I today or who I will be tomorrow. I can start over. I realize that everyone who says they only want the best for me really do not want what is best for me. They really want what's best for them even if it means hurting me. As a result, some of these people will not be in or apart of my life or my future.

I find myself apologizing for things that are not my fault or my issues. I find myself apologizing because someone else feels bad. I have decided, I will no longer apologize for someone else's mishaps. I will no longer apologize for:
  • being who I am
  • my feelings 
  • asking for what I want or need
  • my decisions
  • actions or reactions
  • telling the truth
  • saying no 
  • changing my mind
  • putting myself first (for once) 
Dr. Seuss said it best, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". Throughout my life, I have encountered some narcissistic, pompous, judgmental, insecure and undeserving people. It is not my responsibility to provide them with any explanation of situation that has occurred in my life.There are days when I want to scream. There are days when I have cried. I know God is going to move in my life. He has a greater plan. I will not be on this roller coaster for too long. So, instead of complaining or crying over my life's experiences, I will enjoy the ride. When it comes to a halt, I will be able to say that I weathered the storm and tomorrow will be a brighter day. I will be able to say how strong I am as well as how much I can endure. I am moving forward in all areas of my life with the help of God. 

After reflecting over all that has occurred in my life,  I Am Not Easily Broken!!!!!!!!  I am Moving Forward (without a few people), sitting still and waiting for God to send me a sign.


Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Waiting Patiently

I always wondered why I could not hear from God. Now I know why. I never sat still long enough to hear from him. I always spoke to him, but I never gave him the chance to respond. I never sat still long enough to hear from God. I like most people do not like to wait. Honestly, it is often frustrating. Unfortunately,  it's a part of life. I have learned that God does things on his time and not on my time. In order to see what God has planned for means my family, I have to be receptive. I have to withdraw from certain people, be calm, relax, be still and wait to hear from the Lord. 
So as my days go by, I am waiting quietly before God, for my hope is in him. I am waiting patiently for him to act, respond, guide me and move things around for me and my family. I am waiting expectantly while fully relying on and trusting God to help. Listed below are a few bible verses that I have been reading about being still. Hoepfulk y they may help you as they are helping me on a daily basis.
Be still so you won't miss the great things God is doing.
1 Samuel 12:16, Job 37:14  
Be still. It's the antidote to fretting.
Psalm 37:7 
Be still and know He is God.
Psalm 46:10  
Let Jesus rebuke your storms, "Peace, be still."
Mark 4:39

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Waiting on God

I woke up Sunday morning with a lot on my mind. I made a phone call only to be greeted with negativity. I felt bad afterwards. I couldn't figure out why this person was so angry. I know I did not say or do anything wrong. That morning, I had a talk with God, but it felt different from our usual talks. Afterwards, I decided to sit on the porch to listen and to wait.
What was I listening for? What was I waiting for? I was waiting to hear from HIM. I was listening for HIS voice. I talk to God often and I know he hears me when I speak. However, sometimes I feel like he is ignoring me. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity it happened. I heard him. He was responding to a few things I spoke to him about during my talk.

I heard him say, he allows situations to occur in my life for a reason. He moves people in and out of my life for a reason. I need to stop trying to fix things (people, places and things) that are probably meant to stay broken. Stop fighting people who are not willing to fight for you. Stop trying to keep people in your life who should not be in your life. Stop trying to keep people around who make you feel bad and or bring you down. Stop trying to do things on your own. That's not what I want for you. That's not what I have planned for you. Be still, have faith and trust me.

That day I learned I am fighting an internal battle on a daily basis.  I do not know how to slow down, be still or embrace quietness. I'm always on the go doing something. I live in a fast paced and noisy environment. This is what I know. This has been my life for so long, but I am ready for a change. I've been going back and forth for so long because I have to consider my daughter's.
My soul and spirit desires to hear God's voice during expected and unexpected times. My soul and spirit yearn to see what he has in store for my future, my life and my family. However,  I need to be still and let God handle all things. He knows my heart. I believe and know God will work it out in my favor.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Addiction: Slave To Drugs

Every day, I see a man or woman who is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. Have you ever thought about what that person's life was like prior to being addicted to drugs and/or alcohol? So many times I often wonder what went wrong in their lives that caused them to turn to drugs and/or alcohol as a way to cope with life. Did they lose a their job? Did they lose a parent, a child or a spouse? They probably faced the same struggles we face on a daily basis. The difference is we were a little stronger to endure the storm. Maybe we had someone to hold our hand as we faced our problems. Perhaps someone to pray for us.

Substance Addictions
via alcoholism-and-drug-addiction-help
Every morning, for almost two years I saw the same woman who was addicted to drugs. January 7, 2013 will forever stay in my mind because thats the day, I noticed she was pregnant. My heart felt for the unborn baby who would be born addicted to drugs. Months went by I saw her a few times, but she was not pregnant and she did not look high. I could not help but wonder what happened to the baby. Did she carry the baby to term? Did someone adopt the baby? The last time I saw this women, she was dazed and high as a kite. It was that day that I decided to write a poem through the eyes of a drug addict on the road to recovery. The name of the poem is called:

Slave To Drugs

My life with you has come to an end
On you narcotic I will no longer depend
You came into my life when I could no longer cope
After getting to know you, you gave me hope
Back then I was distracted from my problems, you were my decoy
Not once did I think about all that you would destroy
No one understood then and today they still don't understand
No one to reach out to, no one to lend a helping hand
You stole my childrens childhood, they paid the ultimate price
I understand the heartache and I want to end my life
The only way for me to do this is to overdose
So I consumed so many drugs that I laid there comatose.
But that was then, this is now
I changed my life, I'll tell you how
Now that I am sober, I think about the way drugs made me feel
I can't believe that was my life, it was so unreal
A nurse asked me what I wanted for myself and I replied to be free
Then she dropped on her knees and proceeded to pray for me
She said God is not done with you yet, you have much to achieve
God is here to help you all you have to do is believe
It was then I knew I had to get my life on track
When everyone left me God continued to have my back

Behavioral Addictions
via Dr. Sharma
Merriam dictionary describes addiction as a strong and harmful need to regularly have something or do something. If you are dependent on a substance and cannot control what you do, say, ingest, etc then you are addicted. Addiction does not only apply to substance. It can also refer to behavioral addiction. We are all addicted to something be it food, drugs, alcohol, sex, money, video games, shopping, gambling etc. You may be thinking, I am not addicted; it's just a habit. Well, our habits can become addictions and affect our lives tremendously. 



 via Tragically Flawed

So tell me, what are you addicted to?

Monday, July 28, 2014

Walking With Dinosaurs

On Thursday, July 16, 2014, Tereya, Nyasia and I attended Walking with Dinosaurs- the Arena Spectacular at Barclays Center. The show was amazing. It was very educational, exciting, and entertaining. The show is not animated. It is a live theatrical show and the sound effects were amazing. It was told by the narrator Huxley, who walks us through the Triassic PeriodJurassic Period, and the Cretaceous Period
My girls before and during the show

The Triassic Period occurred 248 million years ago and lasted about 42 million years. During this period there was one big continent called Pangea. It was located near the equator so the weather was always hot and dry. Sometime during the Triassic, the continent began to break. The Plateosaurus and Liliensternus are two of many dinosaurs that walked the earth prior to the mass extinction and volcano eruptions.
The land before & after volcano eruptions


Liliensternus

Plateosaurus
The Jurassic Period is called the Age of the Dinosaurs. It occurred after the Triassic Period around 208 million years ago and lasted about 64 million years. During this period volcanoes were erupting and Pangea continued to break apart into two parts forming the north (North America, Europe, and Asia) and south (South America, Africa, Australia, Antarctica and India-which is a region within Asia). The climate was warm and several different life forms emerged during the Jurassic Period. Flowers were blooming and dinosaurs such as Stegosaurus, Brachiosaurus and Allosaurus walked the earth.

Beautiful Plant Life










Brachiosaurus, Stegosaurus, and Allosaurus 

The Cretaceous Period  occurred 144 million years ago and lasted about 79 million years. During this period, several kinds of dinosaurs emerged to rule the land and the sky.  For example the Torosaurus, was a dinosaur but it also looked like a Rhinoceros. The Ankylosaurus, Ornithocheirus and the famous Tyrannosaurus Rex were among the few that terrorized the Earth. Some scientists believe it was a volcano that destroyed the dinosaurs. Some believe a meteor collided with Earth and caused the extinction of dinosaurs and many flowers perished. Either way, it did not end well for the dinosaurs.

Torosaurus & Ankylosaurus 

Ornithocheirus, Tyrannosaurus Rex & Baby
The End of The Dinosaurs
I have never been a fan of anything with dinosaurs, but after seeing this show I must admit that I am eager to learn more about the creatures that dominated the earth over 200 million years ago. It's possible the show may come to a venue near you. Visit the website to find a show and purchase a ticket.

Stop Standing In Your Own Way



In life we all encounter obstacles and we all have different circumstances. Some individuals may have more obstacles, as well as an unusual set of circumstances than others. Unfortunately, the world is not going to treat you any different. You may come in contact with someone who is sympathetic to your situation, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter. It is a part of life, YOUR life. What matters is how you respond to those obstacles and circumstances.

Are you going to lie down and die or are you going to do all you can to change your circumstances and overcome the obstacles in your path? In order to do so first you must acknowledge and become one with your circumstances. The key is not to dwell in them. Secondly, identify who or what is standing in your way. Truth be told, most of the time, you are the obstacle. You are standing in your way. This can be the result of fear, an unsupportive spouse, mate, friend and family. Finally, create a personal development plan (PDP) to help you discover who you are and what goals you would like to accomplish in your life. A PDP can also help you identify the skills and experience you already have or may need to advance in your career to have the life you want. Another option is to create a vision board which is a collage of things you desire for your life. 

For so long, I have been the obstacle in my life. Everyone is afraid of something and if they tell you they are not afraid of anything, they are not telling the truth. I have allowed fear to keep me from doing so many things. My fears have me paralyzed. I am afraid of failure and the unknown. One day last week I was on Joyce Meyer's website and I stumbled upon an article called Facing Fear and Finding Freedom. It was after I read this article as well as a few others she has on fear, purpose, and several other topics that I decided to face my fears and be free. I have always had a PDP, but I decided to give it a face lift by using the SWOT Analysis and recreating my S.M.A.R.T Goals. 

In college I learned about a few strategy tools that are used for business purposes, but can also be applied to your personal life. One strategy is called the SWOT Analysis (click the link to view the article) and it is designed to help you identify your Strengths (internal), Weaknesses (internal), Opportunity (external) and Threats (external). Another technique to consider is creating S.M.A.R.T Goals (click the link to view the article). This tool was developed to help employers manage their employee's perfomance. Nonetheless, you can use it to manage your personal performance as you work toward your goal. When you write down your goals they should be Specific (what do you want to accomplish), Measurable (what is the progress you have made), Attainable (achievable), Realistic (Outcome) and Timely (completion date).

Life is about taking risk. Every day when I walk the streets of New York I am taking a risk. There is a 50 percent chance that I may not make it back home to my family. I realize there is no difference. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I am on my way to living fearlessly, finding my purpose and I am so excited.

Are you in your own way? What is stopping you from doing what you really want to do?

Monday, July 14, 2014

Nyasia's Summer Assignment


This Thursday marks three weeks since NYC public schools have been dismissed for Summer vacation. In my previous post Twerk A Book....Make Them Pages Clap I stated a few reasons why it is important for our children to read during the Summer. I also posted links to a few Summer Reading Programs that offer incentives. I know reading is one of many important skills my daughters will learn and use throughout their life. It is imperative that my daughters retain all they learned during the school year. So, it is important that they read and practice their math skills every day.



Nyasia was given a Summer break assignment that consists of a math and a reading assignment. The reading assignment consists of a book of her choice and the required book Tales of A Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blum. She also has to write a book report for both books. As of to day, she has began reading her second book for this Summer. The title of the book is Judy Moody and The Not So Bummer Summer. She will also use the second book to complete her second book report. Her assignments are due on the first day of school. In addition, she has vowed to read 2 extra books this Summer.

Tereya is in high school and she did not receive a Summer assignment. She has not provided me her book list. However, she is still required to read something whether it's a book, magazine, or news paper.

 
How is your children's Summer assignment coming along?

Monday, June 30, 2014

I Just Can't Give Up Now

"I just can't give up now. I come too far from where I started from. Nobody told me the road would be easy and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me." ----Mary Mary

I'm sure you have heard this song by renowned gospel group Mary Mary. This is one of several songs that I found myself humming or singing throughout the course of my day. Life is not easy. It is overwhelming and very challenging. Yet, it can also be rewarding and filled with joy, happiness and so many memories. The challenge is seeing the rewards, feeling joyful or happy when life events have left you in despair and feeling overwhelmed. I have always considered myself to be a strong person. Nevertheless, there have been several times in my life when I felt  like giving up.

At the age of 20, I became pregnant with my oldest daughter. I took my birth control faithfully every day and I never missed a pill. This was definitely not a part of my life plan, but I believe it was GOD's plan. He works in mysterious ways and he has a funny sense of humor. I believe he blessed me with her to change and save my life. I allowed certain situations and obstacles to take control of my life. As a result of that my life's plan took a detour and I was on a path to self destruction. I have always considered myself to be a strong person, but like everyone I have a weakness. For some people it is drugs, alcohol, sex, food among other thing. For me it was yearning to be loved and accepted from certain people in my life. I cared more about being supportive to them and their happiness than my own.


Then reality set in, I was going to be someone's mother. I did not return to college, but I learned several trades and found employment. I worked everyday to give her what she needed and what she did not need. It was not easy raising my daughter alone, but I had God on my side. He would not have given her to me if I could not do the job. Years passed and it was only Tereya and I. When she was four I met someone and he had assumed responsibility for Tereya.  We dated for a while and almost two years later I was engaged and pregnant with (Nyasia). In 2010 I earned my first degree; I was also inducted into an honor society for maintaining a 3.9 GPA. I did this while working full time and maintaining my household and caring for my family. Unfortunately, due to irreconcilable differences, my (ex) fiance and I split. It was best we went our separate ways. 


Let's fast forward to the present. I enrolled in school in 2013 and I am a few classes away from earning my bachelors degree. For the past three months or so, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. Satan was attacking me. The closer I got to accomplish my goals another obstacle is thrown into my path. When I jump over one hurdle another one appears in the road. I continued to smile through it all. He saw that I could not get to me so he started going after my daughter, Nyasia started getting bullied in school.  He was pulling out all the stops. Satan was determined to steal, kill and destroy my joy. He was waging war against me. I tried to fight him on my own, but eventually he started winning. I prayed about the situation, I talked to God about everything that was on my heart, I praised him in song daily and God remained silent. I felt abandoned and just like that I started to feel discouraged and frustrated. I was waiting on God to do something about it, but God was waiting on me to do something about. Then one day while riding the train I heard the Lord say I will never leave you nor forsake you. It was then I realized I was never alone. God was beside me the entire time, but I had to rise up and declare war against Satan. God had equipped me with what I needed to stand against Satan. It was up to me to learn to use it. 



God knows my dreams and the desires of my heart, He knows what I want for my daughters. He knows what I want for myself. I do not know where I would be if it were not for him, I am happy to say that everything turned out for the best. I still have stumble upon a few obstacles along the way, but I now know how to approach them. I am forever grateful for all that God has done. I will praise him in advance for what he will do for me and my daughters.When I put God in the center, everything falls into place.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". Proverbs 3:5


What do you do when you feel like giving up?

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Twerk A Book....Make Them Pages Clap

Don't twerk something, read something. It is estimated that school summer breaks will cause the average student to lose up to one month of instruction, with disadvantaged students being disproportionately affected (Cooper, 1996). Hence, why it is important to read during the summer. Summer reading help our childrem retain and enhance their there reading skills. It also helps to magnify their cognitive skills. These skills include, communication (writing and verbal) attention, memory, logic, reasoning, auditory processing and visual processing which are all critical for learning.

As parents we are our children's first educators and it is important to stress the importance of education. We must encourage our children to read throughout the summer. During the school year our children are required to read every day and night for a certain time during a certain time. I believe we should continue that process during the summer. However, the process should be relaxed. Allow them to read at their own pace. Do not set a required number of pages, do not allot a time frame and most allow your children to read what he or she wants as long as it aged appropriate. The key is to make reading enjoyable.

There are several ways to implement and encourage summer reading: 

Parents, 



Lead by example and read a book too. You cannot expect your children to do something that you are not doing. This will also give you all something to discuss. The children can tell you about his/her book and vice versa.

There is 

Visit your local library. All of New York'c public libraries have implemented a summer reading challenge/program. There is a recommended book list for the summer reading challenge and can be accessed via the websites. The book lists is arranged according the their grade level. They also recommended book list for adults. Click the links below to access the book list for your children as well as for yourself.

Recommended Summer Reading Book List and Reading Log
Also, there are several organizations that participate in Summer Reading Incentive Programs. These programs encourage children to read, earn free books and even  money to buy another book. Click the links below to familiarize yourself with each program and determine which one is right for your child. You never know your child may want to participate in of them.

Summer Reading Incentive Programs
  • Read 10 books with TD Bank and earn money to put in your Young Savers Account. Use their reading log to document the books your child has read. Print the log and take it to the bank by August 31, 2014.
  • Earn a free book when you participate in the Barnes and Nobles summer reading challenge. Your child must read 8 books and document them using their reading journal.
  • Enter for a chance to win a sweepstakes, earn rewards and prizes when you register and participate in the free online Scholastic Summer Reading Challenge.
  • Pizza Hut has also launched a Spark your Greatness Summer Reading Challenge. Your child can participate in activities and enter for a chance to win some prizes.

At the end of the day, it is all about feeding your mind 

and 



How will you encourage summer reading?

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Another School Year Is Almost Over....Are You Ready For Summer?

It is the last week of June and the school year is coming to an end. Tereya's last day of class was on June 16, but she had to return to take her regents exams. Nyasia's last day of school is on June 26. They are both excited about Summer. The first week out of school is usually the most relaxing for my girls. This is mostly because they get to sleep late. When Tereya was younger she rarely stayed in New York for the Summer. As soon as school was over she left to visit her father, stepmother, sister and brothers in Georgia. As she got older she stayed in the city and both Tereya and Nyasia went to summer camp. 

At sleep away camp
At the age of 14, Tereya stated she did not want to attend summer camp. When I asked her why, she said she wanted to sleep late, lounge around the house and do nothing. I decided I was not going to make her attend camp. I also explained to her that she was not allowed to have company and she was not allowed to go anywhere with anyone. I also told her, she had to pick up her sister from camp. From the age of 6, Nyasia has attended summer day camp. During the month of August she went to sleep away camp for two weeks. She was excited about going to sleep away camp. I on the other hand was very nervous at the thought of my 6 year old being in the woods at night, in the dark by herself. Nonetheless, she really wanted that experience, so I allowed her to go. The first year she went, I received a call from her counselor stating she was homesick and she wanted to talk to her my voice. After the first two days, Nyasia was back to normal. I was able to see her because the camp posted pictures to their photo gallery on a daily basis. The following Summer, I did not register her for sleep away camp, but to my surprise she wanted to go to sleep away camp. I registered her and she was fine because she knew what she was getting herself into the second time around. 

At Pier 6 near the volleyball court
This year, Tereya was afforded the opportunity to participate in NYC's Summer Youth Employment Program (SYEP) for six weeks during July and August. Nyasia will attend day camp during July and August. However, I am undecided if she will go to sleep away camp. Unfortunately, I am not on Summer vacation for two months. I have to work. My biggest challenge is I never know what to do with them on the weekends. I struggle with ways to keep them busy and entertained. In my previous post School Is Almost Over, I listed a few ideas for you (my readers) to keep your children active and entertained. I even suggested you create a list or suggestion box. Well, I took my own advice and after researching and conversing with other parents, I have created not one but two list. The first list contains activities to do with my girls. The second list contains activities I can engage in with adult company which I will discuss this in another post.

Listed below is a snippet of some of the activities my daughters and I will do this Summer.
  1. Nyasia will begin her summer assignment's after Independence Day.
  2. Arts & Crafts 
  3. Have a few picnics at Prospect Park, and other picnic areas.
  4. Have a scavenger hunt (find things in your neighborhood or home from A to Z)
  5. Game day/night (board games, Wii, Xbox)
  6. Take a trip to the zoo. New York has a zoo in each borough 
  7. Go to Brooklyn Bridge Park. This park consist of 6 piers. There are so many activities and attractions at the Brooklyn Bridge Park. Some of our favorites are the playgrounds (we love pier 6)
  8. Roller Skating at the Lefrak Center at Lakeside. Click here for pricing and hours.
  9. Family Day-National Dance Day at Lincoln Center Out Of Doors. During the their events are free to the public.
  10. Beaches, Amusement Parks, Museums
  11. Mini golf at Pier 25 at Hudson River Park
  12. Road Trip in August
Water Lab at Pier 6
Sandbox Village at Pier 6
Jungle Gym at Pier 6



















This summer the girls and I will partake in several activities within our city. Some will be educational and some will be recreational.

What do you have planned for your child/children this summer?

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Hmm!!! Why Lie?

Tell the 


 and 


the 

Lying is not necessary. It is so much easier to tell the truth. As quick as you can tell a lie, you can tell the truth. Big, small, good or bad a lie is a lie. I don't know what's worse? Being lied to by a loved one or the fact that a loved one thinks I'm unintelligent and will believe the lie. Well news flash, I find it very entertaining especially when I know the truth.  Lying to me will get you nowhere fast. Lying to me will only make me question everything you say and do. I'd rather know the truth even if it hurts. Lying to me will only make me angry and enraged because you felt you had to lie.

People fail to understand that lying about something provides a temporary solution to the current situation. I can't stress how much easier it is to be honest and tell the truth. Lying requires a lot of work. When a person lies about something, they have to remember that lie. As the situation progresses, it becomes difficult for him/her to be honest, so he/she has to continue lying. Before you now it they have created a web of lies.

Usually, when a person has been confronted about something they said it is because there is a discrepancy in their "story" and it is because they already know the truth.  That is my situation. I am giving this individual the opportunity to tell the truth. What baffles me is the person continues to stand firm in the lie. I wonder if this person will continue to be wrong and strong when I present the evidence to support my case.

Honesty is a major factor in all relationships whether it is with a significant other, family members or friendships. As a result of this lie, I question the validity of our relationship. I cannot trust this person and I have decided to put some distance between us. The truth does not cost you anything, but a lie could cost you everything (friendship, love, trust, respect, etc). 

So, Why lie?



Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Letter To My Absent Father

I did not get a chance to post this yesterday. Today is Day 2 of my process. Writing has always been beneficial to my psychological well being. Throughout my life writing has allowed me to express what I needed to say when I felt I had no voice.  Although I know my "absent father" and I will never come face to face, I decided to write him letter. I have written him several letters and today I will share one with you.

Dear Father,

To you I was of no value I guess I had no worth

If I did you would not have denied me from birth

You never reached out to me not even to explain

You have no idea how you scarred me I was filled with so much pain

Until TODAY I've held this inside and for so long I went through it alone

TODAY, I cried because you have not been in my life and I am already grown

So many things have happened that you did not get a chance to see

You have missed out on so many things and not only me

By the way, you have two amazing granddaughters you may never get to meet

Growing up I always wondered why you didn't search for me

I know there wasn't anything wrong with your hands or you feet

Eventually, the time will come when you have to face the truth

The first step is to admit you played a part in my existence when you were in your youth

For so long I was angry with you and I took it out on the world

I felt I was robbed of the opportunity to be daddy’s little girl

The truth is I am done crying, Mary Mary said it best... I cried my last tears

I have allowed this to paralyze my life for too many years

I have accepted the fact that you and I will never be

I have come to terms with my reality

If it were left up to me I would throw you in a hole

But instead I pray that the Lord Jesus Christ has mercy on your soul


One Day At A Time


Several things in life can and will have an impact on your life. 

However, being motherless or fatherless can leave a hole in your soul. It will not heal quickly nor will it heal easily. 


With that being said,

I have FAITH and I am fully relying on God instead of 
myself to help me throughout this process and my journey.