Monday, June 30, 2014

I Just Can't Give Up Now

"I just can't give up now. I come too far from where I started from. Nobody told me the road would be easy and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me." ----Mary Mary

I'm sure you have heard this song by renowned gospel group Mary Mary. This is one of several songs that I found myself humming or singing throughout the course of my day. Life is not easy. It is overwhelming and very challenging. Yet, it can also be rewarding and filled with joy, happiness and so many memories. The challenge is seeing the rewards, feeling joyful or happy when life events have left you in despair and feeling overwhelmed. I have always considered myself to be a strong person. Nevertheless, there have been several times in my life when I felt  like giving up.

At the age of 20, I became pregnant with my oldest daughter. I took my birth control faithfully every day and I never missed a pill. This was definitely not a part of my life plan, but I believe it was GOD's plan. He works in mysterious ways and he has a funny sense of humor. I believe he blessed me with her to change and save my life. I allowed certain situations and obstacles to take control of my life. As a result of that my life's plan took a detour and I was on a path to self destruction. I have always considered myself to be a strong person, but like everyone I have a weakness. For some people it is drugs, alcohol, sex, food among other thing. For me it was yearning to be loved and accepted from certain people in my life. I cared more about being supportive to them and their happiness than my own.


Then reality set in, I was going to be someone's mother. I did not return to college, but I learned several trades and found employment. I worked everyday to give her what she needed and what she did not need. It was not easy raising my daughter alone, but I had God on my side. He would not have given her to me if I could not do the job. Years passed and it was only Tereya and I. When she was four I met someone and he had assumed responsibility for Tereya.  We dated for a while and almost two years later I was engaged and pregnant with (Nyasia). In 2010 I earned my first degree; I was also inducted into an honor society for maintaining a 3.9 GPA. I did this while working full time and maintaining my household and caring for my family. Unfortunately, due to irreconcilable differences, my (ex) fiance and I split. It was best we went our separate ways. 


Let's fast forward to the present. I enrolled in school in 2013 and I am a few classes away from earning my bachelors degree. For the past three months or so, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. Satan was attacking me. The closer I got to accomplish my goals another obstacle is thrown into my path. When I jump over one hurdle another one appears in the road. I continued to smile through it all. He saw that I could not get to me so he started going after my daughter, Nyasia started getting bullied in school.  He was pulling out all the stops. Satan was determined to steal, kill and destroy my joy. He was waging war against me. I tried to fight him on my own, but eventually he started winning. I prayed about the situation, I talked to God about everything that was on my heart, I praised him in song daily and God remained silent. I felt abandoned and just like that I started to feel discouraged and frustrated. I was waiting on God to do something about it, but God was waiting on me to do something about. Then one day while riding the train I heard the Lord say I will never leave you nor forsake you. It was then I realized I was never alone. God was beside me the entire time, but I had to rise up and declare war against Satan. God had equipped me with what I needed to stand against Satan. It was up to me to learn to use it. 



God knows my dreams and the desires of my heart, He knows what I want for my daughters. He knows what I want for myself. I do not know where I would be if it were not for him, I am happy to say that everything turned out for the best. I still have stumble upon a few obstacles along the way, but I now know how to approach them. I am forever grateful for all that God has done. I will praise him in advance for what he will do for me and my daughters.When I put God in the center, everything falls into place.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". Proverbs 3:5


What do you do when you feel like giving up?

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Twerk A Book....Make Them Pages Clap

Don't twerk something, read something. It is estimated that school summer breaks will cause the average student to lose up to one month of instruction, with disadvantaged students being disproportionately affected (Cooper, 1996). Hence, why it is important to read during the summer. Summer reading help our childrem retain and enhance their there reading skills. It also helps to magnify their cognitive skills. These skills include, communication (writing and verbal) attention, memory, logic, reasoning, auditory processing and visual processing which are all critical for learning.

As parents we are our children's first educators and it is important to stress the importance of education. We must encourage our children to read throughout the summer. During the school year our children are required to read every day and night for a certain time during a certain time. I believe we should continue that process during the summer. However, the process should be relaxed. Allow them to read at their own pace. Do not set a required number of pages, do not allot a time frame and most allow your children to read what he or she wants as long as it aged appropriate. The key is to make reading enjoyable.

There are several ways to implement and encourage summer reading: 

Parents, 



Lead by example and read a book too. You cannot expect your children to do something that you are not doing. This will also give you all something to discuss. The children can tell you about his/her book and vice versa.

There is 

Visit your local library. All of New York'c public libraries have implemented a summer reading challenge/program. There is a recommended book list for the summer reading challenge and can be accessed via the websites. The book lists is arranged according the their grade level. They also recommended book list for adults. Click the links below to access the book list for your children as well as for yourself.

Recommended Summer Reading Book List and Reading Log
Also, there are several organizations that participate in Summer Reading Incentive Programs. These programs encourage children to read, earn free books and even  money to buy another book. Click the links below to familiarize yourself with each program and determine which one is right for your child. You never know your child may want to participate in of them.

Summer Reading Incentive Programs
  • Read 10 books with TD Bank and earn money to put in your Young Savers Account. Use their reading log to document the books your child has read. Print the log and take it to the bank by August 31, 2014.
  • Earn a free book when you participate in the Barnes and Nobles summer reading challenge. Your child must read 8 books and document them using their reading journal.
  • Enter for a chance to win a sweepstakes, earn rewards and prizes when you register and participate in the free online Scholastic Summer Reading Challenge.
  • Pizza Hut has also launched a Spark your Greatness Summer Reading Challenge. Your child can participate in activities and enter for a chance to win some prizes.

At the end of the day, it is all about feeding your mind 

and 



How will you encourage summer reading?

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Another School Year Is Almost Over....Are You Ready For Summer?

It is the last week of June and the school year is coming to an end. Tereya's last day of class was on June 16, but she had to return to take her regents exams. Nyasia's last day of school is on June 26. They are both excited about Summer. The first week out of school is usually the most relaxing for my girls. This is mostly because they get to sleep late. When Tereya was younger she rarely stayed in New York for the Summer. As soon as school was over she left to visit her father, stepmother, sister and brothers in Georgia. As she got older she stayed in the city and both Tereya and Nyasia went to summer camp. 

At sleep away camp
At the age of 14, Tereya stated she did not want to attend summer camp. When I asked her why, she said she wanted to sleep late, lounge around the house and do nothing. I decided I was not going to make her attend camp. I also explained to her that she was not allowed to have company and she was not allowed to go anywhere with anyone. I also told her, she had to pick up her sister from camp. From the age of 6, Nyasia has attended summer day camp. During the month of August she went to sleep away camp for two weeks. She was excited about going to sleep away camp. I on the other hand was very nervous at the thought of my 6 year old being in the woods at night, in the dark by herself. Nonetheless, she really wanted that experience, so I allowed her to go. The first year she went, I received a call from her counselor stating she was homesick and she wanted to talk to her my voice. After the first two days, Nyasia was back to normal. I was able to see her because the camp posted pictures to their photo gallery on a daily basis. The following Summer, I did not register her for sleep away camp, but to my surprise she wanted to go to sleep away camp. I registered her and she was fine because she knew what she was getting herself into the second time around. 

At Pier 6 near the volleyball court
This year, Tereya was afforded the opportunity to participate in NYC's Summer Youth Employment Program (SYEP) for six weeks during July and August. Nyasia will attend day camp during July and August. However, I am undecided if she will go to sleep away camp. Unfortunately, I am not on Summer vacation for two months. I have to work. My biggest challenge is I never know what to do with them on the weekends. I struggle with ways to keep them busy and entertained. In my previous post School Is Almost Over, I listed a few ideas for you (my readers) to keep your children active and entertained. I even suggested you create a list or suggestion box. Well, I took my own advice and after researching and conversing with other parents, I have created not one but two list. The first list contains activities to do with my girls. The second list contains activities I can engage in with adult company which I will discuss this in another post.

Listed below is a snippet of some of the activities my daughters and I will do this Summer.
  1. Nyasia will begin her summer assignment's after Independence Day.
  2. Arts & Crafts 
  3. Have a few picnics at Prospect Park, and other picnic areas.
  4. Have a scavenger hunt (find things in your neighborhood or home from A to Z)
  5. Game day/night (board games, Wii, Xbox)
  6. Take a trip to the zoo. New York has a zoo in each borough 
  7. Go to Brooklyn Bridge Park. This park consist of 6 piers. There are so many activities and attractions at the Brooklyn Bridge Park. Some of our favorites are the playgrounds (we love pier 6)
  8. Roller Skating at the Lefrak Center at Lakeside. Click here for pricing and hours.
  9. Family Day-National Dance Day at Lincoln Center Out Of Doors. During the their events are free to the public.
  10. Beaches, Amusement Parks, Museums
  11. Mini golf at Pier 25 at Hudson River Park
  12. Road Trip in August
Water Lab at Pier 6
Sandbox Village at Pier 6
Jungle Gym at Pier 6



















This summer the girls and I will partake in several activities within our city. Some will be educational and some will be recreational.

What do you have planned for your child/children this summer?

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Hmm!!! Why Lie?

Tell the 


 and 


the 

Lying is not necessary. It is so much easier to tell the truth. As quick as you can tell a lie, you can tell the truth. Big, small, good or bad a lie is a lie. I don't know what's worse? Being lied to by a loved one or the fact that a loved one thinks I'm unintelligent and will believe the lie. Well news flash, I find it very entertaining especially when I know the truth.  Lying to me will get you nowhere fast. Lying to me will only make me question everything you say and do. I'd rather know the truth even if it hurts. Lying to me will only make me angry and enraged because you felt you had to lie.

People fail to understand that lying about something provides a temporary solution to the current situation. I can't stress how much easier it is to be honest and tell the truth. Lying requires a lot of work. When a person lies about something, they have to remember that lie. As the situation progresses, it becomes difficult for him/her to be honest, so he/she has to continue lying. Before you now it they have created a web of lies.

Usually, when a person has been confronted about something they said it is because there is a discrepancy in their "story" and it is because they already know the truth.  That is my situation. I am giving this individual the opportunity to tell the truth. What baffles me is the person continues to stand firm in the lie. I wonder if this person will continue to be wrong and strong when I present the evidence to support my case.

Honesty is a major factor in all relationships whether it is with a significant other, family members or friendships. As a result of this lie, I question the validity of our relationship. I cannot trust this person and I have decided to put some distance between us. The truth does not cost you anything, but a lie could cost you everything (friendship, love, trust, respect, etc). 

So, Why lie?



Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Letter To My Absent Father

I did not get a chance to post this yesterday. Today is Day 2 of my process. Writing has always been beneficial to my psychological well being. Throughout my life writing has allowed me to express what I needed to say when I felt I had no voice.  Although I know my "absent father" and I will never come face to face, I decided to write him letter. I have written him several letters and today I will share one with you.

Dear Father,

To you I was of no value I guess I had no worth

If I did you would not have denied me from birth

You never reached out to me not even to explain

You have no idea how you scarred me I was filled with so much pain

Until TODAY I've held this inside and for so long I went through it alone

TODAY, I cried because you have not been in my life and I am already grown

So many things have happened that you did not get a chance to see

You have missed out on so many things and not only me

By the way, you have two amazing granddaughters you may never get to meet

Growing up I always wondered why you didn't search for me

I know there wasn't anything wrong with your hands or you feet

Eventually, the time will come when you have to face the truth

The first step is to admit you played a part in my existence when you were in your youth

For so long I was angry with you and I took it out on the world

I felt I was robbed of the opportunity to be daddy’s little girl

The truth is I am done crying, Mary Mary said it best... I cried my last tears

I have allowed this to paralyze my life for too many years

I have accepted the fact that you and I will never be

I have come to terms with my reality

If it were left up to me I would throw you in a hole

But instead I pray that the Lord Jesus Christ has mercy on your soul


One Day At A Time


Several things in life can and will have an impact on your life. 

However, being motherless or fatherless can leave a hole in your soul. It will not heal quickly nor will it heal easily. 


With that being said,

I have FAITH and I am fully relying on God instead of 
myself to help me throughout this process and my journey.

Monday, June 16, 2014

On the Road to Recovery

I honestly thought I was over this, but yesterday I realized I never addressed the issue what I did was suppress the issue. This past Sunday I went to church with a heavy heart. I was raised in the church and as an adult I attend church often. However, the last year or so, I fell off the wagon and I have not been attending as often as I should. This Sunday was different. I went with a different purpose. I refused to leave the house of the Lord without releasing one of many things that has held me hostage all of my life... my nonexistent relationship with my father.

The sermon was great. Ironically, the topic was "Are You Just Like Your Father"? I thought about that question during and after the sermon. That is one of several questions that I cannot answer. It was during the sermon I realized I was a prisoner that I am free, but I live behind bars. Certain areas of my life have been affected by failed relationships (whether friendships, family or significant other). Today I will start with what I believed to be the start of my issues.

If I would have had a relationship with him, I think all of my relationships (as stated above) would have had different results. I have acknowledged the absence of my father has affected my life, but it's time that I rise up and break every chain. At the end of the service, I sought out the person that my spirit led me to...Rev. Smith-Wright. Although the service was over, Reverend Smith-Wright took the time to listen to me, talk to me and provide me insight. I needed to talk to someone who knows nothing about me will not judge me and can be neutral. I am proud to say that after talking, crying and praying about everything I/we are on the road to recovery and forgiveness.

Yesterday I decided to take back my life. I must accept all aspects of ME and to do that I must accept and live in my truth. Today is the first day of my recovery and I will accept my truth. For those of you who do not know me, my name is Lyndia. I'm going to be a little vulnerable and let you all into an area of my life that I refused to deal with until now.

They say the first step to recovery is to admit and accept there is a problem. My truth is:

  • I am 36 years old and I am a daddy less daughter. 
  • I think about what it would have been like had he been there
  • I have abandonment issues (feeling of guilt and  an occasional feeling of worthlessness)
  • I have trust issues (I don't trust too many people)
Because I have some resentment and bitterness about certain issues in my life, it has been a struggle to find happiness (outside of my daughters). During my journey of forgiveness, I will let go of grudges, bitterness and resentment. I will forgive my self and others. I will keep you posted as I embark on this road of recovery forgiveness and emotional freedom. 


Friday, June 6, 2014

I Was Kicked Out Of The Examination Room!

This week Tereya had a doctor's appointment. Two years ago we crossed a new milestone.Every time I accompany my oldest daughter to her doctor's appointment I am reminded of the moment when her physician asked me to leave the examination room.  I remember it like it was yesterday. After entering the examination room, the Registered Nurse (RN) asked Tereya and me how we were doing. We replied we are doing well.

The nurse proceeded to take and record her vital signs (vs)--weight, height, and blood pressure. Shortly after, the Pediatrician entered the room. We engaged in a brief conversation before he provided a comparison of last year's vital signs and this year's vital signs. He stated, "She has maintained her blood pressure and weight which is wonderful". He stated, "It is very hard for many to do whether they are young or old".  He then he said, "Now it is time for you to wait in the waiting room".

I was shocked and in disbelief. My response was "Why do I have to wait in the waiting room? He went on to say that she is at the age where she may have some private issues that she would like to discuss with me, in private. I replied, "She is only 13 years old. I remember my mother being in the doctor's office with me until I was 17 years old. He said, "I know, but that was then and this is now. It's the law. You also know, that whatever we discuss I cannot discuss it with you unless she gives me permission to do so. As I sat in the waiting room, I wondered what they could possibly be discussing. I knew they would discuss topics such as education, sex, drugs, alcohol, school and extracurricular activities. However, I wanted to know specific questions.
               via bococaland.com

Before we left the office he informed me that once Nyasia turns 10, I will no longer be able to access her electronic medical records (emr) via their portal. I will have to go to the medical records department present my ID, prove parental status and then request the records. I quickly replied, "Are you kidding me"? Does she pay for her insurance? He laughed and said I did not want you to be surprised. So I decided to tell you today. I understand why they feel this is necessary, but it is such an inconvenience.

When Tereya and I left the doctor's office I asked her and her response was "stuff". She proceeded to say, "That's between me and the doctor". Eventually she told me that she gave the doctor permission to tell me what they discussed. I told her thank you, but I trust that if it was something serious, I hope you would feel comfortable enough to tell me yourself.

I love my both my girls so much. I realize she is growing up and she has to learn to do things for and by herself.

Do you recall the first time your child's pediatrician asked you to leave the room? How did you feel? What was your reaction?

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Hazardous To Your Health

Courtesy of The Oz Blog

Vegetables are provide so many benefits to our well being. They provide us the necessary vitamins which our bodies need to thrive. The calorie intake is super low which means it would be difficult to gain weight. The food we is very beneficial to our well being. However there is a downfall. You should not consume certain food items .The food and beverages we consume while taking prescription medication can be hazardous to our health. It can also affect the method in which our medication is suppose to work. This is called a Food and Drug Interaction. This interaction can negatively affect your current side effects and create new side effects. There are several individuals who ingest prescription and over the counter (OTC-medications bought without a prescription) are not aware of the consequences of consuming food and medication together or within hours of each other.

I have worked in the clinical and administrative areas of health field all of my adult life. As a result, I am aware there are several factors that can affect how your medications work. Some of the common factors that can affect how your medications work are your age, weight, gender, current medical condition, current prescribed medications & dosage, OTC medications such as vitamins, dietary supplements, antacids, consumption of drugs, alcohol, food and most importantly lack of education.

Did you know you should not consume broccoli, chard, or dark leafy greens if you have been prescribed a blood thinner? Blood thinners help reduce or prevent blood clots from forming. You should not consume those specific food items because they act as coagulants meaning they form blood clots. Did you know you should also refrain from consuming licorice while taking medications for cardiac ailments such as irregular heart, congestive heart failure (CHF), etc.

During my lunch hour, I decided to scroll through Oprah's website. I came across an article written by Dr. Oz. The name of the article was Dr. Oz 5 Dangerous Food and Medication Combinations. This article was very informative. Somethings I knew and somethings I did not know. In the article Dr. Oz discuss reasons why we should not eat or drink grapefruit before or after taking medication to lower your cholesterol. we all know walnuts are high in fiber, but according to the article we should not eat them if we are on medication to treat a thyroid condition. Click the link above to read the article. If you are taking medications, if you are a caretaker of a friend or family member and have to give or assist with giving medications, it is your duty to know all there is to know about that medication. During your doctors visit, speak up. Inform your Primary Care Physician (PCP) of any diets you have started, previous medical conditions, as well as, all medications you are currently taking prior to him/her prescribing new medications. Ask questions, if you don't ask you will never know. If you have someone with you at the visit have that person ask the questions. Educate yourself about the medication. Most physicians provide you information about the medication before you leave the office. If your physician does not do this, you can always ask the pharmacists.

There are more than a few ways to take responsibility of yourself and your health. This will prevent additional problems. What have you done or will you do to take responsibility of your health?

Please be advised I am not a physician. If you have any health care concerns you should consult with your physician or other qualified healthcare professional.