Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Shooting Him For The World To See

There has been a lot killings in the news this year, these past few months, weeks and days. It hurts me to the core. Yet I still pray hope and believe things will get better. I decided to write a song. This is my song I rewrote to the melody of "Killing Me Softly". I am not a singer, but I will try to or maybe get someone to sing it for me and post the video. This is how I feel about the killings. 

You changed their lives in one second
Shell casings found gunshots heard
Shooting him for the world to see
Shooting him for the world to see
Snuffed out his life with your actions
Shooting him for the world to see

A black man was killed today, for his family I pray
Please help the family be strong, as they begin to grieve
As they are left with memories, because bullets claimed his life

You changed their lives in one second
Shell casings found gunshots heard
Shooting him for the world to see
Shooting him for the world to see
Snuffed out his life with your actions
Shooting him for the world to see

People are enraged with anger, as they march in a crowd
Please see the hurt in their eyes as they cry and shout out loud
Our demand is simple it’s not much,…will you please stop killing us

You changed their lives in one second
Shell casings found gunshots heard
Shooting him for the world to see
Shooting him for the world to see
Snuffed out his life with your actions
Shooting him for the world to see

The family members scream

Whyyyyy?..... Whyyyyyyyy?
Why? Why? Why? Why?Why? Why?

Please Tell Me
Whyyyyy?.....Whyyyyy?
Whyyyyy?.....Whyyyyyyyy?

You changed their lives in one second
Shell casings found gunshots heard
Shooting him for the world to see
Shooting him for the world to see
Snuffed out his life with your actions
Shooting him for the world to see

You changed their lives
Shell casings found gunshots heard
Shooting him for the world to see
Shooting him for the world to see 

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Purpose, Process and Promise

Today, while waiting for the train, I did a recap of all events that occurred these past few months, but especially these past few days. Some days were better than others. Lately, life's events have made me feel as though I was drowning. No matter what I did it felt like I was sinking. I could not keep my head above water. As months and days passed, it did not seem like it was getting any better.I had no fight left in me. I was willing to give up. I was willing to drown.One Sunday morning during the month of March, I was informed of the women's conference that was scheduled to take place in May at Emmanuel Baptist Church. It seemed interesting and I requested a flyer. Week passed and I still was undecided. On Sunday April 24, 2016, the sermon was based on the subject "Go As God Leads". After hearing that sermon, I decided to attend the conference.

This past weekend was enlightening. I attended the 2016 Chosen Women Conference at Emmanuel Baptist Church. (I will talk about the conference in a separate post). I was excited about this conference all week. The day of the conference everything that could have gone wrong did. It was obstacle after obstacle. I was ready to through in the towel. I was late and decided that I was not going to attend. Then I had a conversation with myself. I said self, you are doing exactly what Satan wants you to do. You will get yourself up and go to this conference late and all. So I listened and I attended the conference. I must say, I am glad I did. Sunday morning came and I attended both services. The sermons were completely different and I received a message from both services. The first sermon was entitled "There Is Purpose In The Process". It was during this sermon, I had an aha moment. It was during this sermon, I realized that my life guard walks on water.

For the life of me, I could not understand why bad things happen to me when I am trying to do good. 
Nonetheless, I understand now. Everything that I have gone through in my life and these past few days, is part of the process.  He is preparing me for something.  What's that something is I do not know. MAYBE, he is preparing to walk in my purpose. I honestly do not know. I do know that I have to go through this process, but I am not alone. In this process there will be progress. As I go through this process, I believe it will ultimately lead me to my purpose.

I understand that everything that happens to us is not orchestrated by God, although he allows it to happen. I understand that I am dealing with a situation that was orchestrated to bring me down, but God has my back. I understand that I may have been placed in this situation to teach someone a lesson, to learn a lesson myself or perhaps both. I understand that everything happens for a reason. Although God has yet to reveal the reason to me. I have no choice to but to wait patiently. While I wait, I am learning that no mater how dark it seems, no matter how bad a situation may appear, God is in the background working it out in my favor. God has a plan for my life. Despite the situation, he is preparing me for the next level.


Dear God,

You said "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified for the Lord your God goes with you; he promised never to leave you nor forsake you. This situation is of evil, but it will not prosper. It has kept me up at night. I have cried many tears.Nonetheless, I know without a shadow of a doubt that you will see me through it.I am giving you all the glory in advance. I was praising you before this situation, I will praise you during it and I will continue to praise you after. AMEN.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Getting Back To Me

These past six months has been the best in such a long time. I have been putting myself first for once in my life. I did for others before I did for myself. I cared for others before I cared for myself. I sacrificed for others, but NO one sacrificed anything for me. I gave my time, my heart and soul to people who were not deserving of it. I gave people the benefit of the doubt even when I knew they did not deserve it. I trusted people even though I knew they were lying, doing and doing things that would cause them to lose my trust. Well, those days are long gone.

I was never the person who cared what anyone thought or said about me, then at some point in my life I began to care. That was where I made my mistake. What matters is my opinion of myself.  People judged spoke negatively about Jesus and then crucified him. So who am I. People will talk about you whether you are doing well or not. They will find or make up something to talk about when they know nothing about you. People who are evil, vindictive and envious are the worst people because their mission is to seek and destroy. The devil tried and he continues to try, but he was and is not successful.

Well guess what I am back to not giving two fucks about what people do or say. Especially, if I know it's not true. I am HAPPILY single. I am much happier than I have been in a long time. I have peace in my life and in my home. I am dating myself. I am enjoying myself. I am getting reacquainted with myself and I love it. I am not saying I don't want or need anyone in my life or to do anything for me. At this moment, it is not at the top of my bucket list.

I am surrounded by people who genuinely care about me, my children and our well being. I am a woman who has been through a lot. I have the emotional scars to prove it . Nonetheless, the Lord brought me through it. I am a woman, a mother who has been able to and will continue to do for myself and my children. I thank God everyday because he allows me to do so. There is no love lost towards anyone and I do not regret any decisions I have made.

I would probably have done a few things differently, but I learn from every experience and situation in my life. I learned a huge lesson. The good thing is I am not angry about a certain situation  anymore. I did what needed to be done for my sanity. It's like the old saying goes, "When you know better you do better". I am doing so much Better.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

24 Things That Annoy Me

In a previous post I spoke about People Who Annoy Me. In this post I will speak about several things that have annoyed me. The list below is comprised of things I have encountered daily as well as over time.
  1. Bugs...All of them .
  2. People who wait to get to the turnstile to look for their metrocard.
  3. People who do not say please or thank you. 
  4. When someone who is not smelling so fresh stands in front of or near me.
  5. When male family members and/or friends leave the toilet seat up.
  6. People who cannot think for themselves.
  7. Parents who only feed their children fast food. #learntocook
  8. Parents who do not keep their promises 
  9. People who concoct elaborates stories in their minds and they believe they are true.
  10. When I say Good Morning and the occupants in the room do not respond.
  11. Being accused of something I did not do.
  12. When someone lies to me (especially about something minor).
  13. People who do not take responsibility for themselves, their actions or the lives they help create. 
  14. Bicycle/Bike lanes. If I am required to have insurance, bicyclists should also have insurance.
  15. People who tailgate. This also includes walkers.
  16. People who do not try doing things on their own before they ask for help or say they can't do it. How do you know you cannot do something if you did not try?
  17. It is annoying when I return someone's call within 2 minutes and the phone goes to voicemail. As soon as I disconnect the call the person decides to call back. Really! I do not have time to play phone tag with you.
  18. When a product is finished and no one in the house says anything until I decide to eat or use the products.
  19. When driver blow their horns and the light just turned green.
  20. Nosey people (neighbors, family members, etc)
  21. Injustice
  22. Women with these thick, jet black eyebrows that go all the way up to the middle of their forehead.
  23. When someone asks me whats wrong after I have said several times nothing was wrong.
  24.  Speaking in another language during office hours.#veryrude

Sunday, January 31, 2016

People Who Annoy Me


Lately, my tolerance level has been at an all time low especially when it comes to people. So instead of keeping it to myself, I decided to share my annoyance with my fellow bloggers and readers. Let me say this before you continue to read. It is not my intentions to offend anyone, but to voice my opinion. However, I have offended you, I apologize in advance. Now lets continue with my rant. 

I'm annoyed with people use or consume things without asking first.

I'm annoyed with parents who allow their children to run amok in public places.

I'm annoyed with people who borrow things and do not return them.

I'm annoyed with people who borrow things and do not return it in the same condition in which they borrowed it.

I'm annoyed with people who call me and have nothing to talk about or they talk about the same things all the time.

I'm annoyed with people who try to talk to me while I am on the phone with someone else.

I'm annoyed with people who places empty containers back in the refrigerator.

I'm annoyed when nosy people read (my book) over my shoulder. 

I'm annoyed with people who get upset once I stopped saying yes and started saying no.

I'm annoyed with people who smack and/or eat with their mouth open. 

I'm annoyed with people who drag their feet while walking. 

I'm annoyed with people who make accusations.

I'm annoyed with people who complain about their life, but has not made an effort to change it for the better.

I'm annoyed with people who do not take responsibility for their actions, but instead point fingers at others.

We are human and something or someone has annoyed you and I would love to hear about.

 Who or what has annoyed you recently?

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Do You Have A Plan Of Action?

I woke up this morning feeling so refreshed. I thought about all that I wanted to accomplish this year personally, with my browngirls, family and friends. I thought about what I needed to do to accomplish these goals. I will list my 2016 goals I a separate post.

However, I would like to ask you the following questions:

1. Have you thought about the goals you would like to accomplish this year?

2. What are some of those goal?

3. What steps are you going to take to accomplish those goals? Did you create an implement a roadmap for this year to assist you?

4. Are your actions today helping you get where you want to go in the future?

No matter how old or young you are, you have a choice to have a plan, mission and Vision for your life. If you want your life to be different in 2016 you must take the time to develop and implement a plan.