Skip to main content

Posts

A Rainbow of My Own

While sitting in the middle of my bed after waking up for the second time today, guess what I saw on my bedroom wall? A rainbow. Before you ask, no there was nothing in my window and there was nothing on my television stand that allowed any sort of reflection. I was baffled and amazed. Yet I continued to stare at it until it faded. I believe it was God's way of getting my attention. His way of communicating and relaying his message to me.
There have been days when life seems to get the best of me. I have so much on my mind. It seems as though it is constantly racing. It never slows down or stop. As a result, I often have sleepless nights. There have been times when I wanted to give up which was the easiest thing to do. However, I know that quitting is never an option and not the example I want to set for my two brown girls. I know it is only because of God's grace that my strength grows and I can move forward.
I often pray and talk to God. However, I have been praying and tal…
Recent posts

Who Do You Identify With In The Sea Of Life?

While attending Medgar Evers College, I was introduced to the worlds renowned author Ms. Iyanla Vanzant. My public speaking professor began each class with a daily meditation from Acts of Faith which was authored by Ms. Vanzant. Eventually, I purchased this book and a few others. Years later, I continue to read the Acts of Faith.

While sitting at my desk, I turned to today's meditation and my eyes made it's way to the bottom of the page. The message stated "I know who I am in the sea of life." After reading it, I reversed it and asked myself two questions. "Do you know who you are in the sea of life?" "Who do you identify with in the sea of life?"

My eyes scrolled back to the top of the page and I began to read today's daily meditation. As I am reading, I realize I have encountered almost every fish that was mentioned. This made me think about the people I have crossed paths with in the past, as well as, in the present. It also caused me to th…

She Did It Without Him

For the past two weeks, Nyasia has been preparing for this day. She had practice every day after school from 6pm -7:30pm and two Super Saturday rehearsals from 9am-1pm. This rehearsal includes the marching band and her dance mates who only attend the performing arts program after school and on Saturdays. During this rehearsal, the entire performing arts program and the band practice the routine together. Today is the day. It is one of the most important days of her life. Nyasia spent all her time rehearsing afterschool and out home. She along with her bandmates from The Brooklyn United Marching Band (BU) performed at the Nets vs Knicks halftime show. This was her first time performing at such a large venue. She was excited and scared at the same time. I was thrilled to be there to support her and provide her words of encouragement and comfort during our commute to the venue. 
The call time was at 11:30am. I awoke at 7:30am to prepare myself. At 8:30am I begin preparing, checking and …

Yesterday, I Was.....Today, I Am.....

Yesterday, I was.....
A writer with no words to write An author with nothing to publish An artist with a blank canvas A singer without a song to sing A runner, with no sense of direction and going nowhere fastAn athlete with no game to play A teacher who has nothing to teach Guarded and afraid to love another manA parent who felt unsure as I faced problem and challenges of motherhoodI was a prisoner of my pastLiving in fear
Today, I am.....
A writer who has much to say An author who will tell her storyAn artist who has created the vision I want for my lifeA singer with a song in my heart and praise in my mouth. Taking the necessary steps to move my life in a more meaningful directionLearning to succeed at this game called life A mother who taught her daughters to love themselves mind, body and soulA mother who taught her daughters to surround themselves with positive people Vulnerable and willing to take the risk of loving againLearning from my mistakes and becoming a better parent and…

Happy Birthday Mother

To be a mother at 16 was not an easy task
I am sure you were frightened and did not know what to do
You probably cried day and night, but you had to see this journey through
My father said I was not his and for both you and me it was a horrible day
Unlike him, you did not have the option to turn and walk away

Nine months later I entered the world
They swaddled me in cloth and introduced you to your baby girl
There were many nights you did not get much sleep
There were good times and bad times, regardless I was yours to keep
We have had disagreements, but with prayer and the will of God, we made it through

The sun did not shine always and there were several days of rain
With God’s grace and mercy together we crossed milestones and we made it through the pain
Thank you for giving me life and being my eyes when I could not see
Thank you for your encouragement and believing in me
Thank you for being there for my girl's from the very start
You will always have a special place in our h…

My Sunday Morning Reflection

Happy Sunday. I am up and getting ready for church. I have been going through a storm for a while. Nonetheless, I still smile. I will not complain. I will remain to myself and fight the good fight. I  know at the end of the day God will sustain me while I am in the in between time. I have also had an internal battle and yesterday at Emmanuel Baptist Church, I was reminded "There is no room for joy and happiness if you carry around bitterness, anger, hatred and negativity". I am not bitter. Nor do I have hatred for anyone. I do have a strong dislike for certain people. However, I'll be the first to say that I am angry about a few things and disappointed with a few people. I will also say that I have a very hard time trusting people.I am disappointed with a few of my family members. I am disappointed with myself because I expect family and friends to react to or do things the way I would react to or do things. I put feelings my personal feelings aside and rise to the occas…

Help! My Daughter Is Driving Me Crazy.

Today, I will be the one venting and please do not judge me.  I am sure I am not the only one who has felt this way. However, I am the only one who choses to speak on it. I will give you all a synopsis.
I have a 19 year old and 13 year old. They are like night and day. For the past few days, my 13 year has been getting on my last nerve. So much so, today I wanted to pop her in the mouth because she thinks she is suppose to have the last word. Instead I raised my voice an octave and put the fear of God in her.  I ended with the statement, "I  don't know who you think you are talking to, but I am not one of your friends. Do not play with me little girl. Consider this your warning".
I went into my internal mommy space and had a woosah moment. I had a talk with myself. I said to myself, "Girl, I am glad you did not pop your daughter in the mouth. You know why she is lashing out. Now you have to find a way to deal with the issue at hand. You have to remain calm so your…