Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Soapbox Coconut Oil Shampoo & Conditioner #SudsySelfie Review

Disclaimer: I tested these Soapbox products for free, but all opinions are my own.

For my first #voxbox, I received a full size sample of Soapbox Coconut Oil Shampoo & Conditioner from Influenster. I was a little skeptical when I received it because I had never heard of this brand. I was excited to try these products because it said it would leave my hair moisturized. Everyone who knows me know I have extremely dry hair. I have tried so may different shampoos and conditioners and nothing seems to work. Nonetheless, I remained optimistic during this experiment.Soapbox hair care products contain Vitamins E and K, and Coconut Oil. These products do not contain any sulfates or parabens. These products  as well as other Soapbox products can be purchased at Target or via Soapbox website. 

What I admired about this company/brand is their mission. For every bottle purchased, clean water, soap or vitamins will be donated to those in need all over the world.  On the back of each bottle is a "hope code". If you go to www.soapboxsoaps.com/hope and enter the code, you will be able to to track who your purchased helped.Although I received these products for free, I was interested in seeing whose lives have been blessed. Using the codes on the back of the shampoo and conditioner bottles, I was able to see since 2007, China's project is called the clean water project which has served over 90,000 children daily. Since 2012, India's project is called the clean water, hygiene education, and sanitation project which has also served over 17,000 children daily. Support their movement and and make a difference in another child's life.

The best way to describe the texture of the shampoo is creamy, silky and smooth. I loved the tropical smell of this product. However, due to my hair texture, I had to use a generous amount of the shampoo for it to lather nicely. Nonetheless, I would use this product again because it did not leave my hair feeling greasy or heavy. It left my scalp feeling squeaky clean and refreshed. 

I am on the fence about the conditioner. It was not the greatest nor was it the worst.The texture is creamy and very thick which I loved. However, the following day, my hair was looked dull, dry and brittle. It was also very difficult to detangle and manage my hair. I would not use the conditioner again, but I would definitely use the shampoo again. Overall, I  am glad I had the opportunity to try these products. You can try them too. If you head over to Influenster, you can obtain Soapbox Voxbox coupons  and save $2.00 off your purchase.

Coconut Oil Shampoo
Coconut Oil Conditioner

What is your favorite moisturizing shampoo and Conditioner?

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The Struggle of Co-Parenting

via Womans' Divorce
Dealing with an ex when you have children together can be extremely difficult. Wouldn't it be nice if the noncustodial parent was able to put their personal feelings aside and focus on being a parent to the child (ren)? Wouldn't it be nice if he/she did not include the child (ren) in adult situations and conversations? Wouldn't it be nice if he/she did not speak negatively about the custodial parent to the child (ren)? Wouldn't it be nice if he/she communicated and coordinated outings and weekend visits with you instead of communicating via the child (ren)? This would be great, unfortunately, that is not the case with many who are trying to co-parent, myself included.

Co-parenting is not an easy task. One would hope co-parenting would be less stressful and somewhat easier especially if the child is older. Well that is not always true and it is never that easy. My daughter is ten years old and some days are easier than others. I am constantly being civil and courteous towards her father only to be (occasionally) verbally attacked and disrespected. Most of the time, I remain calm and do not allow him or his antics to annoy me. Unfortunately, there have been a few times that I stooped to his level and gave him a taste of his own medicine only to be left mentally exhausted.

In the past I used to hold my feelings in and I realized it was affecting my entire being. I needed to express my feelings. Eventually, I was able to vent to a very good friend who had been through something similar in the past. I informed her about the childish behavior he occasionally displays. I also informed her that I do not speak negatively about my daughter’s father around her. I do not discuss the issues or conversations that have occurred between him and me with my daughter. There have been times when my daughter is angry with her dad for something and she thinks he should be the topic of the discussion. I let her vent, but I never speak negatively about him to her. I try to explain his action or reaction to her and make a mental note to have a conversation with him about her issues or concerns.  

Unfortunately, her father is not capable of doing the same. There was a time he called me everything, but my name while she was in his care. He has had conversations and expressed his feelings about me to her. He informs her of disagreements we have had in the past or around the time he has her in his care. I have confronted him about the conversations he has had with her. I have expressed to him the conversations he has had with her are inappropriate. I also told him if he needed to talk to me then he should pick up a phone and call me. He should not communicate to me via our daughter. As of today, he still displays the same behavior, it's just not as frequent.

Through all the foolery, I explain to my daughter that despite what her father has said to her about me, regardless of his temper tantrums he is entitled to his opinion and he has a right to feel the way he feels. 

I wanted her to know that I know who I am. Your father’s opinion is just that, his opinions and it does not define me. His opinion or feelings about me do not affect me in any way and she should not allow his thoughts, opinions or feelings about me affect her, our household or relationship. I also told her regardless of what he says he is still your father and you have to respect him. If he says something negative about me, she can RESPECTFULLY and POLITELY inform him that she does not want to hear or discuss his thoughts about mommy.

As a mother and as a responsible woman, I would never try to ruin my daughter’s relationship with their fathers.  I do not want my daughters to ever feel like they have to choose between mommy and daddy. I do not want them to feel bad because they want to spend extra time with their father. Believe me, I am okay with it. I need a minute to breathe too. I encourage their relationship. I know how it feels to grow up with my father in my life. That is something I do not want them to experience.  All I ask for in return is RESPECT. 


Do you struggle with co-parenting with your ex? 
How have you resolved the issue?