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Showing posts from 2014

Goodbye 2014 Welcome 2015

In less than one hour 2014 will be over. This year I was tested a lot. I often fell to my knees in prayer. My faith was tested to the maximum. There were times when I wanted to throw in the towel and end it all. You see Satan (the devil) was working overtime. He was coming at me from every angel. Every time I overcame one hurdle he threw another one in front of me. 
I had to go back and forth to court with my daughters father which left me drained. Co-parenting is already a difficult task. It is even more difficult when the noncustodial parent refuses to communicate. It is more difficult when the noncustodial parent communicates through the child. It is very difficult when the noncustodial parent does not know or refuses be cordial. I had to withdraw from college. Her father stated "I can't watch her on the weekends". My response was, you are not "watching her" because she is your child. So as a result I withdrew. I have so much to say about this, but I will sav…

Liar Liar Book Review

Liar, Liar by Latrese Carter is consumed with secrets, lies, deceit, disrespect and infidelity. Childhood friends Stormy Knight and Camden Brooks paths crossed again when Camden decided to move from New York City back to his hometown. Camden Brooks came from a very good home. His father (Reverend Brooks) and mother were Pastor and First Lady of a well know church. As a result of this, Camden was labeled a church kid and everyone expected him to live and behave in a certain manner. Eventually, Camden could no longer live with the pressure of being the son of a pastor. So when it was time for him to apply to college he decided he would go to school out of state. This would allow him to reveal who he "really"was.

As time passed they began to date and their relationship was going very well. At least this is what Stormy believed until a secret is revealed to her that will change her life forever. She had no idea that she was being used in what Camden thought was a great scheme. E…

How Do You Make Time For Yourself?

Being a mother, a daughter, a sister, a professional and a friend can be very stressful. How often have you found yourself saying, "I wish I had more hours in the day" or "I wish I had a moment  for myself". As parents, we all find ourselves wishing we had more hours during the day and time for ourselves. I lead a very busy life and I never seem to have time for myself. It's not easy being a single mother who has to juggle working a full time job, attending college courses, maintaining a household, returning phone calls, caring for and giving attention to my two daughters and significant other. The only time I can get at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted "me time" is when I take my bath. Lately, this has been impossible. Creating more "me time" is not at the top of my to do list, but it is on my to do list. 
There are times when I get "a break" but I do not consider it "a break". Reason being is, during this time I am us…

Happy Birthday Mommy

Today is my mothers birthday. I wrote this on my facebook page as a tribute to my mother. I decided to share it with you all. My mother has been through a lot during her life. She was a teen mom, but she never let it deter her from doing any thing. She finished high school and enrolled in the U.S. Army. She stubmled upon a few bumps in the road. She even fell a few times, but she never stayed down. She always managed to get back up.I am so grateful that the Lord has blessed my mother to see another year. I am grateful that I as well as my sister, brother and her grandchildren have her in our lives another day. 

To be a mother at 16 was not an easy task
I am sure you were frightened and did not know what to do, 
You probably cried day and night, but you had to see this journey through
My father said I was not his and for both you and me it was a horrible day
Unlike him, you did not have the option to turn and walked away
Nine months later I entered the world
They swaddled me in cloth and intr…

Homelessness In America

Someone shared a video on my facebook page about a Chicago homeless man named Ronald Davis (click his name to view his interview). I then proceeded to view a  video about a homeless man named Maurice Johnson, who is 55 years old and is from Cleveland, but resides in Boston. He has 2 Masters Degrees (in Plasma Physics and Electrical Engineering and Acoutsics; click his name to view his interview). As I watched these interviews it brought tears to my eyes and prompted me to write this post. 

Why are so many people homeless in America? What can we as a nation instead of being judgmental? We don't know their story. We don't know the things they have gone through. We are all a paycheck away from being homeless. There are times my job annoys the heck out of me, but I thank God I have one so I can provide for my family. I recall the day on the train, I gave my food to a man on the train and he threw it away when he went to the next car. I was pissed. I vowed never to help another pers…

Happy 10th Birthday Nyasia

It was a cold February day. I recall being at work and talking to my friend/coworker "Medina". I told her that my menstrual cycle was late and I needed to go to Duane Reade during lunch. That day I took a total of four pregnancy test. I needed to make sure because of a previous experience I had with her sister Tereya. When I was pregnant with Tereya, I  also took three test. The results were not accurate. One was positive, two were negative and finally a positive blood test. There is no need for me to elaborate, we all know how the story ended. Lol!


September 8th, is a very special day. God blessed me with my second daughter one decade ago today. I remember that night as if it were yesterday. If it were up to the ER physician, Nyasia would have been born in the elevator or the sidewalk. My Ob/Gyn was performing a c-section and he barely made it in time to deliver my baby. Dr. Kuno handed me this little tiny baby with the big beautiful eyes. She was born at 12:56am and weighe…

Happy Birthday To Me

Thirty-seven years ago today, I blessed the world with my presence. I do not make a fuss of my birthday because I do the same thing every year. NOTHING! I do not plan anything because it is around the time school begins. My daughter's birthday is also a few days later. Those events are far more important. So as a result, I do not do anything.

Now that I think about it, in all of my years on this earth I have never had a birthday celebration that consisted of my friends and my family. I have had  intimate gatherings. Each one I had consisted of my immediate family only. This is also because I don't consider everyone I know or associate with my friend. .  After doing a lot of reflecting, I noticed that I have never celebrated anything that I have accomplished in my adult life. So, I have decided that I will create my very own holiday where I celebrate me and all that I have accomplished in my life thus far. So, I wish myself a Happy Birthday to me. God bless me and may I have …

Why I Love Jesus

My sister called me out on Facebook to participate in the "Why I Love Jesus" challenge. I love Jesus because he first loved me. I love Jesus because he allowed me to see another day. He kept the blood running through my veins. He allowed my heart to continue beating. He allows me and my family to reach our destinations during the day and return home safely. I was 6 or 7 years old when I was introduce to him. I was fascinated with him until my grandmother died. I was angry with him because he took the one person who I felt loved me the most who I loved the most away from me. As a child I questioned him. Why did so many leave me, walk out on me and turn their backs on me? Why did you take my grandmother away? I couldn't understand why and he did not provide me an answer. As a result, I turned my back on him. For years I strayed away. Stopped going to church and reading the bible. Nonetheless, God kept me covered and wrapped his arms around me. There were times I felt alone…

Moving Forward

My life is like a roller coaster. It's full of ups, downs, twists, turns, rights and wrongs. Riding this roller coaster has often made me sick to my stomach. I have suffered from anxiety because I was apprehensive about what was waiting for me as I approached the next loop hole in my life. I have tried several techniques to teach myself to relax. Unfortunately, nothing has helped. I cannot relax. I do not know how to relax.

Everyday the Lord allows me to wake up is another day for me to get it right. I am not bound by my past. The decisions that I made yesterday do not determine who am I today or who I will be tomorrow. I can start over. I realize that everyone who says they only want the best for me really do not want what is best for me. They really want what's best for them even if it means hurting me. As a result, some of these people will not be in or apart of my life or my future.

I find myself apologizing for things that are not my fault or my issues. I find myself apol…

Waiting Patiently

I always wondered why I could not hear from God. Now I know why. I never sat still long enough to hear from him. I always spoke to him, but I never gave him the chance to respond. I never sat still long enough to hear from God. I like most people do not like to wait. Honestly, it is often frustrating. Unfortunately,  it's a part of life. I have learned that God does things on his time and not on my time. In order to see what God has planned for means my family, I have to be receptive. I have to withdraw from certain people, be calm, relax, be still and wait to hear from the Lord.  So as my days go by, I am waiting quietly before God, for my hope is in him. I am waiting patiently for him to act, respond, guide me and move things around for me and my family. I am waiting expectantly while fully relying on and trusting God to help. Listed below are a few bible verses that I have been reading about being still. Hoepfulk y they may help you as they are helping me on a daily basis. Be …

Waiting on God

I woke up Sunday morning with a lot on my mind. I made a phone call only to be greeted with negativity. I felt bad afterwards. I couldn't figure out why this person was so angry. I know I did not say or do anything wrong. That morning, I had a talk with God, but it felt different from our usual talks. Afterwards, I decided to sit on the porch to listen and to wait. What was I listening for? What was I waiting for? I was waiting to hear from HIM. I was listening for HIS voice. I talk to God often and I know he hears me when I speak. However, sometimes I feel like he is ignoring me. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity it happened. I heard him. He was responding to a few things I spoke to him about during my talk.
I heard him say, he allows situations to occur in my life for a reason. He moves people in and out of my life for a reason. I need to stop trying to fix things (people, places and things) that are probably meant to stay broken. Stop fighting people who are not…

Addiction: Slave To Drugs

Every day, I see a man or woman who is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. Have you ever thought about what that person's life was like prior to being addicted to drugs and/or alcohol? So many times I often wonder what went wrong in their lives that caused them to turn to drugs and/or alcohol as a way to cope with life. Did they lose a their job? Did they lose a parent, a child or a spouse? They probably faced the same struggles we face on a daily basis. The difference is we were a little stronger to endure the storm. Maybe we had someone to hold our hand as we faced our problems. Perhaps someone to pray for us.
Every morning, for almost two years I saw the same woman who was addicted to drugs. January 7, 2013 will forever stay in my mind because thats the day, I noticed she was pregnant. My heart felt for the unborn baby who would be born addicted to drugs. Months went by I saw her a few times, but she was not pregnant and she did not look high. I could not help but wonder what h…

Walking With Dinosaurs

On Thursday, July 16, 2014, Tereya, Nyasia and I attended Walking with Dinosaurs- the Arena Spectacular at Barclays Center. The show was amazing. It was very educational, exciting, and entertaining. The show is not animated. It is a live theatrical show and the sound effects were amazing. It was told by the narrator Huxley, who walks us through the Triassic PeriodJurassic Period, and the Cretaceous Period
The Triassic Period occurred 248 million years ago and lasted about 42 million years. During this period there was one big continent called Pangea. It was located near the equator so the weather was always hot and dry. Sometime during the Triassic, the continent began to break. The Plateosaurus and Liliensternus are two of many dinosaurs that walked the earth prior to the mass extinction and volcano eruptions.



The Jurassic Period is called the Age of the Dinosaurs. It occurred after the Triassic Period around 208 million years ago and lasted about 64 million years. During this pe…

Stop Standing In Your Own Way

In life we all encounter obstacles and we all have different circumstances. Some individuals may have more obstacles, as well as an unusual set of circumstances than others. Unfortunately, the world is not going to treat you any different. You may come in contact with someone who is sympathetic to your situation, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter. It is a part of life, YOUR life. What matters is how you respond to those obstacles and circumstances.
Are you going to lie down and die or are you going to do all you can to change your circumstances and overcome the obstacles in your path? In order to do so first you must acknowledge and become one with your circumstances. The key is not to dwell in them. Secondly, identify who or what is standing in your way. Truth be told, most of the time, you are the obstacle. You are standing in your way. This can be the result of fear, an unsupportive spouse, mate, friend and family. Finally, create a personal development plan (PDP) to…

Nyasia's Summer Assignment

This Thursday marks three weeks since NYC public schools have been dismissed for Summer vacation. In my previous post Twerk A Book....Make Them Pages Clap I stated a few reasons why it is important for our children to read during the Summer. I also posted links to a few Summer Reading Programs that offer incentives. I know reading is one of many important skills my daughters will learn and use throughout their life. It is imperative that my daughters retain all they learned during the school year. So, it is important that they read and practice their math skills every day.


Nyasia was given a Summer break assignment that consists of a math and a reading assignment. The reading assignment consists of a book of her choice and the required book Tales of A Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blum. She also has to write a book report for both books. As of to day, she has began reading her second book for this Summer. The title of the book is Judy Moody and The Not So Bummer Summer. She will also …

I Just Can't Give Up Now

"I just can't give up now. I come too far from where I started from. Nobody told me the road would be easy and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me." ----Mary Mary
I'm sure you have heard this song by renowned gospel group Mary Mary. This is one of several songs that I found myself humming or singing throughout the course of my day. Life is not easy. It is overwhelming and very challenging. Yet, it can also be rewarding and filled with joy, happiness and so many memories. The challenge is seeing the rewards, feeling joyful or happy when life events have left you in despair and feeling overwhelmed. I have always considered myself to be a strong person. Nevertheless, there have been several times in my life when I felt  like giving up.
At the age of 20, I became pregnant with my oldest daughter. I took my birth control faithfully every day and I never missed a pill. This was definitely not a part of my life plan, but I believe it was GOD's plan. He …

Twerk A Book....Make Them Pages Clap

Don't twerk something, read something. It is estimated that school summer breaks will cause the average student to lose up to one month of instruction, with disadvantaged students being disproportionately affected (Cooper, 1996). Hence, why it is important to read during the summer. Summer reading help our childrem retain and enhance their there reading skills. It also helps to magnify their cognitive skills. These skills include, communication (writing and verbal) attention, memory, logic, reasoning, auditory processing and visual processing which are all critical for learning.

As parents we are our children's first educators and it is important to stress the importance of education. We must encourage our children to read throughout the summer. During the school year our children are required to read every day and night for a certain time during a certain time. I believe we should continue that process during the summer. However, the process should be relaxed. Allow them to re…

Another School Year Is Almost Over....Are You Ready For Summer?

It is the last week of June and the school year is coming to an end. Tereya's last day of class was on June 16, but she had to return to take her regents exams. Nyasia's last day of school is on June 26. They are both excited about Summer. The first week out of school is usually the most relaxing for my girls. This is mostly because they get to sleep late. When Tereya was younger she rarely stayed in New York for the Summer. As soon as school was over she left to visit her father, stepmother, sister and brothers in Georgia. As she got older she stayed in the city and both Tereya and Nyasia went to summer camp. 
At the age of 14, Tereya stated she did not want to attend summer camp. When I asked her why, she said she wanted to sleep late, lounge around the house and do nothing. I decided I was not going to make her attend camp. I also explained to her that she was not allowed to have company and she was not allowed to go anywhere with anyone. I also told her, she had to pick u…

Hmm!!! Why Lie?

Tell the 


 and 


the 

Lying is not necessary. It is so much easier to tell the truth. As quick as you can tell a lie, you can tell the truth. Big, small, good or bad a lie is a lie. I don't know what's worse? Being lied to by a loved one or the fact that a loved one thinks I'm unintelligent and will believe the lie. Well news flash, I find it very entertaining especially when I know the truth.  Lying to me will get you nowhere fast. Lying to me will only make me question everything you say and do. I'd rather know the truth even if it hurts. Lying to me will only make me angry and enraged because you felt you had to lie.

People fail to understand that lying about something provides a temporary solution to the current situation. I can't stress how much easier it is to be honest and tell the truth. Lying requires a lot of work. When a person lies about something, they have to remember that lie. As the situation progresses, it becomes difficult for him/her to be honest, s…

Letter To My Absent Father

I did not get a chance to post this yesterday. Today is Day 2 of my process. Writing has always been beneficial to my psychological well being. Throughout my life writing has allowed me to express what I needed to say when I felt I had no voice.  Although I know my "absent father" and I will never come face to face, I decided to write him letter. I have written him several letters and today I will share one with you.

Dear Father,
To you I was of no value I guess I had no worth
If I did you would not have denied me from birth
You never reached out to me not even to explain
You have no idea how you scarred me I was filled with so much pain
Until TODAY I've held this inside and for so long I went through it alone
TODAY, I cried because you have not been in my life and I am already grown
So many things have happened that you did not get a chance to see
You have missed out on so many things and not only me
By the way, you have two amazing granddaughters you may never get to m…