I woke up Sunday morning with a lot on my mind. I made a phone call only to be greeted with negativity. I felt bad afterwards. I couldn't figure out why this person was so angry. I know I did not say or do anything wrong. That morning, I had a talk with God, but it felt different from our usual talks. Afterwards, I decided to sit on the porch to listen and to wait.
What was I listening for? What was I waiting for? I was waiting to hear from HIM. I was listening for HIS voice. I talk to God often and I know he hears me when I speak. However, sometimes I feel like he is ignoring me. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity it happened. I heard him. He was responding to a few things I spoke to him about during my talk.
I heard him say, he allows situations to occur in my life for a reason. He moves people in and out of my life for a reason. I need to stop trying to fix things (people, places and things) that are probably meant to stay broken. Stop fighting people who are not willing to fight for you. Stop trying to keep people in your life who should not be in your life. Stop trying to keep people around who make you feel bad and or bring you down. Stop trying to do things on your own. That's not what I want for you. That's not what I have planned for you. Be still, have faith and trust me.
That day I learned I am fighting an internal battle on a daily basis. I do not know how to slow down, be still or embrace quietness. I'm always on the go doing something. I live in a fast paced and noisy environment. This is what I know. This has been my life for so long, but I am ready for a change. I've been going back and forth for so long because I have to consider my daughter's.
My soul and spirit desires to hear God's voice during expected and unexpected times. My soul and spirit yearn to see what he has in store for my future, my life and my family. However, I need to be still and let God handle all things. He knows my heart. I believe and know God will work it out in my favor.