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Moving Forward

My life is like a roller coaster. It's full of ups, downs, twists, turns, rights and wrongs. Riding this roller coaster has often made me sick to my stomach. I have suffered from anxiety because I was apprehensive about what was waiting for me as I approached the next loop hole in my life. I have tried several techniques to teach myself to relax. Unfortunately, nothing has helped. I cannot relax. I do not know how to relax.

Everyday the Lord allows me to wake up is another day for me to get it right. I am not bound by my past. The decisions that I made yesterday do not determine who am I today or who I will be tomorrow. I can start over. I realize that everyone who says they only want the best for me really do not want what is best for me. They really want what's best for them even if it means hurting me. As a result, some of these people will not be in or apart of my life or my future.

I find myself apologizing for things that are not my fault or my issues. I find myself apologizing because someone else feels bad. I have decided, I will no longer apologize for someone else's mishaps. I will no longer apologize for:
  • being who I am
  • my feelings 
  • asking for what I want or need
  • my decisions
  • actions or reactions
  • telling the truth
  • saying no 
  • changing my mind
  • putting myself first (for once) 
Dr. Seuss said it best, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". Throughout my life, I have encountered some narcissistic, pompous, judgmental, insecure and undeserving people. It is not my responsibility to provide them with any explanation of situation that has occurred in my life.There are days when I want to scream. There are days when I have cried. I know God is going to move in my life. He has a greater plan. I will not be on this roller coaster for too long. So, instead of complaining or crying over my life's experiences, I will enjoy the ride. When it comes to a halt, I will be able to say that I weathered the storm and tomorrow will be a brighter day. I will be able to say how strong I am as well as how much I can endure. I am moving forward in all areas of my life with the help of God. 

After reflecting over all that has occurred in my life,  I Am Not Easily Broken!!!!!!!!  I am Moving Forward (without a few people), sitting still and waiting for God to send me a sign.


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