Saturday, January 31, 2015

My Saturday Morning Rant

I woke up this morning at 4:57AM. Believe me it was not on purpose. As a result of this, I am tired, cranky and annoyed. This is not a good combination. I'm surrounded by all sorts of noise. For example, loud horns, loud trains loud music, loud people, and inconsiderate neighbors who allow their children to go to make noise all day and all night. They go to bed extremely late, get up extremely early to dragging or dropping things on and across the floor. I cannot stand noise and it makes my ears hurt. Talking to the parents is useless. It seems as though they cannot control them.
I expect children to play and make noise. Nonetheless, after a certain time all horse play should cease. I have a ten year old who likes to dance, flip and bounce around. However, she is not allowed to do any activity of those activities during the week after 7:30pm (except Friday), before noon during the weekend, after 9:30 on Saturday or after 8 on Sunday. Between 9:00 and 9:30, Sunday-Thursday, she is in the bed.

If that's not enough, around 8:30am this morning, some random person rang my doorbell. I did not bother to answer it because everyone has been informed to call me before showing up at my apartment. However, this person was persistent. I went to the intercom and yelled in my meanest voice "who is it"? Silence. I asked again. The person never said their name. Then she asked "can you let me in"? I said no I cannot. I asked, "do I know you?" She responded, "no". I replied, "then I'm definitely not letting you in get a freaking key. If you live here you would have a key. If you are visiting someone and he/she is expecting you then he/she would have buzzed you into the building".

This morning, I realized I'm getting older. My patience is slowly declining. I can't tolerate too much of anything especially noise. My ears have become very sensitive. I appreciate peace, stillness and quietness. It allows me to focus, think, enjoy the moment and to see things for what the really are. In order for me to achieve and enjoy  peace and quietness, I will have to move where no one lives over me and no where near a major street, highway or road.

My Dream Serenity
 via Imgarcade
I honestly do not know how much more I will be able to endure. I feel like I'm about to explode. I do not know what to do.
Do you have any suggestions?

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Mindfulness March:Walking With A Purpose

On Saturday, October 18, 2014 the Bedford Stuyvesant Collegiate Charter School along with La Cima Elementary Charter School collaborated to host their first Mindfulness March. Each scholar and their family member(s) who agreed to participate in the event had to contribute a healthy snack and create a poster that stated why you were marching. During this event my daughter and I along with several other scholars and members of their family participated in several activities including meditation, a silent march around the perimeter of the school carrying the posters we created. We also participated in  reading, reciting and interpreting positive quotes. At the beginning of the event the host asked, "Does anyone know what mindfulness means? Does anyone know what it means to be mindful? How can it help you in your life?" As you read this post you may be asking yourself the same questions. 

Mindfulness or being mindful is being aware of our surroundings, thoughts and feelings on purpose and without discernment (judgment). It means to notice your experience at that moment. Practicing mindfulness can transform your life and add several benefits to your life. As parent's, if we practice mindfulness it can improve our parenting skills, enhance our relationships with our children as well as others and it helps us to cope with stress.We were informed that we can turn our daily activities such as brushing our teeth, combing our hair, or washing the dishes into mindfulness activities. For example, if you are washing the dishes do so mindfully. Say and repeat to yourself, I am washing the dishes. Be aware of the soap suds, water and the physical act (the motion) of washing the dishes.
After the discussion of being mindful, each person had to pull a folded piece of paper from a bag. When we unfolded the paper, there was a quote. We were told to read, internalize and think about the quote we chose. Each one of us was given 5 minutes to share our thoughts about the quote to the audience. 

As I unfolded my paper, I was surprised to see a quote similar to what I tell myself. Every morning, as I look in the mirror, I tell myself, "Your past does not define you. Your past has not defeated you. You get up, shake it off, learn from it and move forward to become a better person. The quote I received was, "My scars do not define me". When it was my turn to voice my interpretation, I stated the following, "I do not have many physical scars. I have emotional scars which cannot be seen by others. These scars have made me feel hopeless, resentment, angry, sad and sometimes numb. There have been times when I could not identify with myself. I did not recognize the person staring back at me when I looked on the mirror. One day, I realized that I was ignoring the problems. I needed to acknowledge every negative situation that occurred in my life and then let it go. I acknowledged some of the situations that occurred in my life were out of my control. Finally I told myself that things happen in life, you have made some wrong decisions, but you learned from them. No matter what the situation is, everything is going to be okay. You are going to be okay. Some unfortunate events occurred in your life that left emotional scars, but your scars do not define you. They are simply markings that remind you of where you have been, but they do not determine where you are or will go".

Shortly after we sat in complete stillness for fifteen minutes. I will be the first to admit that it felt great. Sitting still is something we are not able to do because we all have busy lives. After this segment, she stressed it is important for everyone to sit still on a daily basis. Sitting still and being mindful can allow you to think clearly, focus, alter your mood, really listen (and not hear), inner peace and brings you in the moment. The last activity of the day was to participate in the Mindfulness March. My daughter marched to "Stop Racism. I marched to "Stop Police Brutality and to Stop Homelessness. During this march no one spoke a word. Our posters spoke for us and we received so much support from spectators on foot in addition to those in their vehicles. Silence really does speak volumes. As we departed from the school grounds we were given a packet that contained a few mindfulness activities, meditation activities for parents, teachers and our children.
Me (bottom) and Nyasia's (top) Poster's

My Other Poster

Here are a few of the sites:

Remember, sharing is caring. I hope this post benefits you.

Have you experienced mindfulness? 
How has it changed your life?



Sunday, January 4, 2015

To My First Born (Late Post)


Rae, you have no idea how much you mean to me
As you grow into what you are destined to be
You came from within; from just beneath my heart
it's there you'll always be though your own life will now start

You're growing so no longer my little girl
with misty eyes I send you out into this cold and heartless world
I know sometimes to you I seem cruel and unfair,
But one day you will see, It was all because I care.

The next few years will quickly go by
There will be laughter, happiness, sorrow and even a few tears to cry.
As you begin your growth to young adulthood, there is something you should know,
you’ll always be my source of pride, no matter where you go.

You must stand up tall and proud, within you feel no fear,
for all you dreams and goals, sit before you very near.
With god's love in your heart and the world by its tail,
you’ll always be my winner, and victory will prevail.

There are times when I  am crazy and even a little deranged but,
I love you with my heart and soul and this will never change.


Love Always,
Mommy

(click link to view my tribute)

Unfinished Business

It is day four of the new year and I am excited for whats to come---the known and the unknown. Unfortunately, I have some unfinished business from 2014. On a daily basis, I take the train to and from work. Living in New York City I often see, hear or read something that will inspire the next topic for my blog.
 
Yesterday, I was going through my draft folder and I have so many unfinished topics. Has this ever happened to you? My immediate reaction was to delete them. However, after reading each prospective posting I decided not to delete them. I want to finish what I started. I have a lot going on in my life at this moment, but with a lot of work and dedication I know I can do it.

Mentally Preparing Myself
Do you have any unfinished business from 2014?

Friday, January 2, 2015

Happy New Year!!!!


My Brown Girls and I would like to wish you a year that is filled with good health, happiness and abundance of joy. We pray that all of your hopes and dreams come true.