Sunday, March 20, 2016

Getting Back To Me

These past six months has been the best in such a long time. I have been putting myself first for once in my life. I did for others before I did for myself. I cared for others before I cared for myself. I sacrificed for others, but NO one sacrificed anything for me. I gave my time, my heart and soul to people who were not deserving of it. I gave people the benefit of the doubt even when I knew they did not deserve it. I trusted people even though I knew they were lying, doing and doing things that would cause them to lose my trust. Well, those days are long gone.

I was never the person who cared what anyone thought or said about me, then at some point in my life I began to care. That was where I made my mistake. What matters is my opinion of myself.  People judged spoke negatively about Jesus and then crucified him. So who am I. People will talk about you whether you are doing well or not. They will find or make up something to talk about when they know nothing about you. People who are evil, vindictive and envious are the worst people because their mission is to seek and destroy. The devil tried and he continues to try, but he was and is not successful.

Well guess what I am back to not giving two fucks about what people do or say. Especially, if I know it's not true. I am HAPPILY single. I am much happier than I have been in a long time. I have peace in my life and in my home. I am dating myself. I am enjoying myself. I am getting reacquainted with myself and I love it. I am not saying I don't want or need anyone in my life or to do anything for me. At this moment, it is not at the top of my bucket list.

I am surrounded by people who genuinely care about me, my children and our well being. I am a woman who has been through a lot. I have the emotional scars to prove it . Nonetheless, the Lord brought me through it. I am a woman, a mother who has been able to and will continue to do for myself and my children. I thank God everyday because he allows me to do so. There is no love lost towards anyone and I do not regret any decisions I have made.

I would probably have done a few things differently, but I learn from every experience and situation in my life. I learned a huge lesson. The good thing is I am not angry about a certain situation  anymore. I did what needed to be done for my sanity. It's like the old saying goes, "When you know better you do better". I am doing so much Better.

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