Love YOURSELF First

I am a single parent of two wonderful brown girls. I want nothing but the best for them. However, I realize growing up in today’s society is not easy. It is completely different from when I was a child.  Young girls of every race will encounter similar challenges on a daily basis. These challenges consist of peer pressure, low self esteem, self worth, bullying, education, the expectations we as parents have set for them and let’s not forget self perception (body image, hair, fashion sense, sexuality, identity, etc). Several of these girls may encounter one if not all the challenges. Instead of enjoying their formative years, they are preoccupied with trying to fit into society’s expectations of how they should look.

Young girls of every race has some insecurities, but the media, social networking sites, and the community have made it very difficult for brown girls to accept, embrace and love their self for who they are. Commercials, TV shows, magazines, movies and videos persuade young girls they need to have perfect skin (even lighter skin), long flowing hair, thin lips and nose, small waste, big breast and big derrière to be accepted within society. This is a major issue for young impressionable girls. I have heard young girls say they dislike their nose, their hair, their shape and much more. What these girls fail to realize so many people would pay and have paid to have the features that God has given them. I strongly believe it takes a village to raise a child. As mothers, aunts, and sisters of young girls it is our responsibility to teach them to love and embrace themselves and their culture. Let them know they do not have to have long hair and light skin to be attractive. We are responsible for helping them identify their internal beauty which will enhance their external beauty. We have to learn to discover, develop and support their interests and development. 

It is my responsibility to teach my daughters to love and embrace their kinky hair, wide nose, full lips, etc. I am responsible for boosting their self esteem so they can know their worth and abilities. I raise my daughters to be proud of who they are. I let them know they do not have to compete with anyone because everyone is beautiful in their own way. Just as other parents, I have expectations for my daughters. I have learned each child is different and what may have worked for one may not work for the other. As a result of this, I had to develop and set separate expectations derived from the personality, ability, strengths interest, weakness and talent for my daughters. However, I expect and encourage both of them to do the best they can in school as well as in everything in which they participate. On a daily basis, I tell my daughters the following:
I love you for who you are and who you are becoming. Never let anyone define you; only you can define yourself. Never try to fit into someone else’s standards. Set your own standards and Let them fit into yours.

I have provided a three affirmations and a quote for each affirmation you can say and teach your daughters to say to themselves on a daily basis.

Value Yourself
      Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. ~Malcolm S. Forbes
Accept Yourself
      To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept       yourself. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Be True to Yourself
      Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation                  to be one.~Eleanor Roosevelt

I hope this helps someone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!