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Co-Parenting (with my youngest daughters’ father)

A lot had occurred throughout the relationship with my youngest daughters’ father.  I tried to forgive him for the things he said and did, but it was very hard to forgive him. At some point in the relationship, I was left feeling hurt, disappointed, frustrated and angry. These feelings began to affect my well being. As time passed and the longer we stayed together, those feelings turned into resentment. When my youngest daughters’ father and I parted ways, my children were thirteen and seven. Unfortunately, our relationship did not end on good terms. Nonetheless, I was optimistic that we would be able to collaborate as a team to raise our daughter.



Boy was I wrong. He wanted what he wanted when he wanted them. Things had to be done his way or no way. Talking to him was very stressful and draining. There have been times when a straightforward conversation turned into a shouting match. Sadly, we were not able to have a civilized telephone conversation. There have been many days that I felt the need to scream and shout especially when both parties involved are trying to reach an agreement. Co-parenting is not an easy task. It requires respect, communication, cooperation, commitment and consistency. During this chapter of my life, I have learned I cannot expect him to parent as I do. However, In order to make co-parenting a little easier I told him I needed the following:

Do not discuss our issues with our daughter
 Do not discuss me in a negative manner with our daughter
Do not have adult conversations with her about her mother
Do not send me messages via out daughter (if there is something that has to be said leave me a message I will return the call at my earliest convenience)
Spend as much time as possible with
Do not question her about what takes place in my household (she is safe, cared and loved for that is all that matters)

There have been times when he did not comply with my request which could have resulted in a verbal disagreement. Nevertheless, as each day goes by, I am learning to forgive him this allows me to discover a way to develop a harmonious relationship with my ex to co-parent effectively, move forward in my life and overlook certain situations by doing what is best for our daughter. Learning to co-parent can be difficult, but at the end of the day, our daughter requires both of us in her life.



I hope this helps someone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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