Skip to main content

Co-Parenting (with my youngest daughters’ father)

A lot had occurred throughout the relationship with my youngest daughters’ father.  I tried to forgive him for the things he said and did, but it was very hard to forgive him. At some point in the relationship, I was left feeling hurt, disappointed, frustrated and angry. These feelings began to affect my well being. As time passed and the longer we stayed together, those feelings turned into resentment. When my youngest daughters’ father and I parted ways, my children were thirteen and seven. Unfortunately, our relationship did not end on good terms. Nonetheless, I was optimistic that we would be able to collaborate as a team to raise our daughter.



Boy was I wrong. He wanted what he wanted when he wanted them. Things had to be done his way or no way. Talking to him was very stressful and draining. There have been times when a straightforward conversation turned into a shouting match. Sadly, we were not able to have a civilized telephone conversation. There have been many days that I felt the need to scream and shout especially when both parties involved are trying to reach an agreement. Co-parenting is not an easy task. It requires respect, communication, cooperation, commitment and consistency. During this chapter of my life, I have learned I cannot expect him to parent as I do. However, In order to make co-parenting a little easier I told him I needed the following:

Do not discuss our issues with our daughter
 Do not discuss me in a negative manner with our daughter
Do not have adult conversations with her about her mother
Do not send me messages via out daughter (if there is something that has to be said leave me a message I will return the call at my earliest convenience)
Spend as much time as possible with
Do not question her about what takes place in my household (she is safe, cared and loved for that is all that matters)

There have been times when he did not comply with my request which could have resulted in a verbal disagreement. Nevertheless, as each day goes by, I am learning to forgive him this allows me to discover a way to develop a harmonious relationship with my ex to co-parent effectively, move forward in my life and overlook certain situations by doing what is best for our daughter. Learning to co-parent can be difficult, but at the end of the day, our daughter requires both of us in her life.



I hope this helps someone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Your Child Is LGBT..It's Not The End Of The World!

I am not a parent of a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender (LGBT) child, so I cannot say I understand what a parent of a LGBT child is going through. However, I have friends and family members who are and have children who are LGB so I can relate to a certain degree. Growing up I had friends who were gay and who were lesbians. A few of them told me and a few of them hid it from me. Why? I have no idea. What they failed to realize was I already knew, but I wanted them to tell me on their own. It is on no account painless for mothers and fathers to find out that their son or daughter is a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Nor is it any easier for the child to tell their mother, father, friends or other family members that they are or may be a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. I remember the day someone very close to me told me he was attracted to guys. He was so nervous. As he began to speak, he started stuttering and sweating bullets. After he finished speaking I did no

Who Do You Identify With In The Sea Of Life?

While attending Medgar Evers College , I was introduced to the worlds renowned author  Ms. Iyanla Vanzant . My public speaking professor began each class with a daily meditation from Acts of Faith which was authored by Ms. Vanzant. Eventually, I purchased this book and a few others. Years later, I continue to read the Acts of Faith. Photo Credit: RaisingBrownGirls While sitting at my desk, I turned to today's meditation and my eyes made it's way to the bottom of the page. The message stated "I know who I am in the sea of life." After reading it, I reversed it and asked myself two questions. "Do you know who you are in the sea of life?" "Who do you identify with in the sea of life?" My eyes scrolled back to the top of the page and I began to read today's daily meditation. As I am reading, I realize I have encountered almost every fish that was mentioned. This made me think about the people I have crossed paths with in the past,

Brooklyn United Music and Arts Program is Homeless

Press Release Brooklyn United (BU) is one of Brooklyn’s most effective Music and Arts Programs . It is a program that offers a creative and safe space for minority inner-city youth. Throughout the years, the program has operated out of churches and other dance studios. During their time at these establishments, BU has been, and continues to be, an inspiration to all who have had a face-to- face encounter or have seen them perform. Residing in New York city, the youth face several challenges and dangers. We all know that an idle mind and too much (unsupervised) free time can change the trajectory of their lives. Brooklyn United has provided an alternative to spending so much time unsupervised. While operating out of the establishments previously mentioned,  Brooklyn United  has been able to offer an afterschool program, Saturday program, programming during school b reaks, Summer camp and more for inner-city youth. During the school year, Brooklyn United offers homework assistance to yo