Today, I will be the one venting and please do not judge me. I am sure I am not the only one who has felt this way. However, I am the only one who choses to speak on it. I will give you all a synopsis.
I have a 19 year old and 13 year old. They are like night and day. For the past few days, my 13 year has been getting on my last nerve. So much so, today I wanted to pop her in the mouth because she thinks she is suppose to have the last word. Instead I raised my voice an octave and put the fear of God in her. I ended with the statement, "I don't know who you think you are talking to, but I am not one of your friends. Do not play with me little girl. Consider this your warning".
I went into my internal mommy space and had a woosah moment. I had a talk with myself. I said to myself, "Girl, I am glad you did not pop your daughter in the mouth. You know why she is lashing out. Now you have to find a way to deal with the issue at hand. You have to remain calm so your blood pressure does not escalate. You do not want social workers intruding in your life. Let them intrude in the lives of those who truly neglect, abuse and mistreat their children. If you forgot, let me remind you that you are too pretty for jail so you definitely have to find a way for you to keep your composure or you will become a resident of the Rose M. Singer Center (RMSC) on Rikers Island".
I proceeded to my car and waited for her to come down stairs. During the drive to school we did not speak. She tried talking and I did not respond at least not right away. Eventually, she apologized for speaking out of term. I accepted her apology. I proceeded to tell her when you apologize for something, you are acknowledging your wrong doing and you try your best not to repeat the wrong doing. If you find yourself repeating the same behavior and action then your apology meant nothing. It is up to you to prove to me that your apology was sincere.
I ended the conversation stating, "daughter the situation that occurred this morning was inappropriate, but that does not mean I don't love you. It is very clear there is a deeper problem. We both have things we need to work on to prevent you from lashing out and to prevent me from reacting to your actions. I love you and have a good day at school.
How many of you are raising or has raised teen daughters? Have you felt this way? How did you resolve the issue?