Happy Sunday. I am up and getting ready for church. I have been going through a storm for a while. Nonetheless, I still smile. I will not complain. I will remain to myself and fight the good fight. I know at the end of the day God will sustain me while I am in the in between time.
I have also had an internal battle and yesterday at Emmanuel Baptist Church, I was reminded "There is no room for joy and happiness if you carry around bitterness, anger, hatred and negativity". I am not bitter. Nor do I have hatred for anyone. I do have a strong dislike for certain people. However, I'll be the first to say that I am angry about a few things and disappointed with a few people. I will also say that I have a very hard time trusting people.
I am disappointed with a few of my family members. I am disappointed with myself because I expect family and friends to react to or do things the way I would react to or do things. I put feelings my personal feelings aside and rise to the occasion. I will do all that is in my power to make others happy. I now realize others are not willing to do the same. This will not hinder our relationship in any way, but it did create unwanted feelings within me.
I think I am and have been a good person. No matter how well things are going, I cannot help but to look for or expect something negative to happen. I am angry and disappointed because I feel this way. There are days when I feel overwhelmed, but I push forward and dont complain. I know why I feel this way. I have to do something about it before it consumes my life.
Unfortunately, Satan knows how to use these things against me. He puts thoughts in my mind and feelings in my heart. He comes like a thief in the night. He is lurking to steal and destroy what God has for me. Like I said before God will sustain me. He will protect my mind, body, and spirit. #takingonedayatatime